Love lacks a vision that never
foresees the withering of
two hearts as they decay in the
hands of our own enemy;
in time we will come to find that sense of
which we gather our courage
to go as far as the light we
grab a hold of, never hanging
onto the darkness.
My vision however blurry, as the
eyes that once were open, now
shut themselves within,
and I cannot help but think that
I should stay in the shadows,
reach for nothing and push any light
out; for it's when I finally see clearly, when I am
blind.
Author notes
Based on an acrostic, but instead of reading the first letter straight down, you read the first word of each line straight down. 2 poems in one.
"Love foresees two hands in which to grab onto, my eyes shut and I reach out; blind."
A contest entry
- Constantly Overcoming by Byepolar bare.
675 points, ended December 20, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
lost in my insanity
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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The life is full of diffrent colors and the these colors makes us joyful and painful..and this color is painted by the heart of the lovers..well done..
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Wow, this is amazing! I love the sentence, and the way you convey it in the poem is even better! I love that last bit especially, it's wonderfully written and full of emotion.
Well penned,
~lost
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Wow! I love this!
This is an excellent poem, i love your word acrostic idea. That's excellent. Love is blind sometimes
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Notice
Contest will be extended a week or so, I am not well and will likely be in the hotel for the sick and injured for a brief stay. Sorry guys. -
for it's when I finally see clearly, when I am
blind.
I'm loving that line...
It's so...sad... that you have to be blind to see.
I guess you really 'see' with your other senses, you feel with everything you are what it is you see.
I know what I mean! -
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hehe thank you. your screen name is really cool
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Woah. That's amazing. I love it. Amazing flow, and the way you used the word-acrostic was really good. Best of luck in the contest!
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Very Good, and thank you for the bold lettering
You are the first entry, and therefore also the measure. There was nothing about actually looking to overcome, at least not directly, however, there was something that I would like to comment on that I think may be worth a couple thoughts.
In the last two lines of the first verse there was a mention of hanging onto darkness. There is nothing in darkness that can really be held onto, it can only be ventured into and have light brought into it.
The closing lines, we may have differing interpretations of, but I absolutely love how the poem was tied up! I personally believe that we look at everything as if it all means something...seeing meaning everywhere. Even though things just happen because they happen. We see it so clearly, but we are so blind for what it is. Same principle. Good luck Salt -
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thanks, it's a tad more abstract and metaphorical than you're used to I think. For you're trying to make it more literal. But I highly value your input. Good luck judging your contest
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You always excel with that creative spark of yours, just when i think you can't surprise me further, you come out with another little gemstone like this.
Your writings are powerful and precious, a lot like you. Keep the flames burning
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this is good; better than mine. great job. good luck.
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I doubt it
but thanks
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