Twas the day before christmas and the house is a mess.
I tried to bake cookies but couldn't read the directions.
I misplaced my glasses and tore the cookbook.The pumpkin pies in the oven waiting to be cooked but for some reason it just wouldn't cook.mary Lou came by and said it would help if i put the oven on bake.Well all be darn.now theres a screeching noise comming from the smoke alarm.Mary-Lou says there you go again you turned the
teapot on to high.
You see i'm trying to cook and write out my to do list.
then what do i go and do but twist my wrist trying to open the top off the pop bottle.Why i'm in the kitchen trying to cook is way beyound me.Then all of a sudden i started to snezze.I can't make cookies or pumpkin pie,then i'm trying to burn the tea.I'm snezzing and twisiting my wrist.I should have bought something at our church christmas tea.Look at me look at the the house were both a wreck.atleast i have the turkey in the bathtub thawing.then all of a sudden mary-lou says you better come here.so off to the bathroom i do trot and what do i find but my nephew washing the turkey.facecloth and soap.he kept telling me he needed a bath.thank
goodness the turkey was still covered in plastic.
You know Mary-Lou i've been trying to find something i put away but don't know what or where it is.Mary-Lou says you need a break.just then i remembered where i put the fruitcake.it's a good job your husbands making the stuffing.
The snezzing has gotten worse and my wrist really hurts i'm kicking myself out of the kitchen.i've decided i need a nap.then when i wake up again i'll see if my nightmare has come to a end.hopefuly i'll discover everythings
perfectly fine.
i guees that's what happens when you've drank to much wine
the night before.
Author notes
this is for a contest,truthfully my husband tends to christmas dinner.sometimes it's better f i stay out of the kitchen.
A contest entry
- Kitchen Mayhem by cutiepie.
800 points, ended November 29, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I like this, I thought was hilarious. =]
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This was an excellent write filled with so much humour. It is great when people can step back and laugh at themselves. It makes others laugh with you, not at you. Your words and setout just perfect. I can't say anymore than just thanks for the fun and the very best of luck in the contest.
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A good laugh indeed! I truely enjoyed reading this.
Goodluck with the contest.
And thanks for sharing a laugh -
Hysterical! One year my dad and his wife came for Christmas dinner, and as I was baking the pies, he decided he had to fix the drawer UNDER THE OVEN! Talk about mayhem! I finally kicked him out of the kitchen! Your poem made me LOL, and that is always a great gift!
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Lol...now this did make me smile
Sounds a bit like me 
Many thanks for your entry 
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lmao!! this is the funniest piece of holiday prose i've ever read, omg i laughed so hard, it made me think of my sister for some reason, i loved it very, very, much, best of luck in the contest
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Cutest of all your stories Brenda...Wonderfully funny! Imagine giving the turkey a bath!!!!!!!!!!! What a riot...
good write!
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