Not an angel in the sky,
had even one single dry eye.
When that little boy not a moment too late,
walked right up to those big ol' pearly gates.
He was just a tiny tot,
I guess he was maybe two.
He pulled and tugged with all his might,
to open those gates so he could go through.
His body left here on earth,
lay in a casket, beaten beyond recognition.
Now when he reached the golden streets,
he got another body in brand new conditon.
He doesn't have to hurt anymore,
he's not so tired and not so sore.
That little boy was a brave little guy,
no wonder why he made all the angels cry.
Author notes
Children are beaten to death each and every day by a parent or relative in the United States of America...It will not stop unless everyone does their part to get the children help before they are beaten so bad that they die!
" Let It Rock " TexasMomma
A contest entry
- NO CLICHE ! YES PREWRITES ! by Anu-Nataraj.
400 points, ended November 28, 2008, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
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900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - COME ONE! COME ALL! QUICKY FOR 200 PEOPLE! by Umi Juvariel.
800 points, ended January 21, 53 entries
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800 points, ended January 27, 124 entries
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18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
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1400 points, ended February 22, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Heaven by Heavenly Angel.
700 points, ended March 27, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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wow. very touching. made me want to cry. its so wrong. )=
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this is very sad. i hate how ppl think they can do what they want and stuff and get away with it. people needs to learn and realize that thay need to stop doing what they are doing. cause one day it will come back to them and it will hurt them very much so... im a christian and i know where im going. im going to heaven. but that stuff right there is not gonna get them to a heavenly place then are gonna go striaght to hell and i believe that is where they belong if that is what they think they can do and everything.. i really enjoyed this poem im glad i read it good job!!!
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Well Written
This is very tragic.
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This touched me....
I will NEVER understand how anyone can harm a child (or harm ANYONE for that matter, but a child is different...)
May God have mercy on those who would inflict harm on an innocent child
Very powerful piece
Thank you for sharing and for being part of this contest -
this is a well penned write..very touchy and profound
yet i feel there is some mistake .. as for the first line of the last para
"He doesn't have to hurt anymore" it doesn't make sense.. i am not sure what exactly it is.. the sentence basically implies to me that child had to hurt someone..
i am sure you meant something like this..
"it doesn't have to hurt anymore" or even better if your replace hurt to pain
"he doesn't have to be in pain any more"
and also i dont like the last of the prior stanza(plus it has a typo)
"he got another body in brand new condition.".. sound force rhyming and its very rough compare to the rest of the write .. rephrase it to be more elegant and gracious its a cute lil toddler standing in front of heaven.. not a toy.
thanks for entering and best of luck -
This was beautiful; especially the idea of the angels crying for him - I do believe in angels, and I think they must hurt so much when they see so much pain and anguish on this earth but know that they are unable to help, or do anyhting about it, in the majority of cases.
The line, "e pulled and tugged with all his might,
to open those gates so he could go through." really tugs at the heart strings, thinking of the child - too young to even consider ending in hell, but still too young to have been sent to heaven...
Such a sad poem - but beauitfully written
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We all must do more to help the innocent.
Well expressed and thanks for showing awareness.
Much love and light, Timothy
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i liked it but some of the lines didnt flow too smoothly, maybe a quick revision would fix the porblem. thank you for entering and good luck
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It isn't often someone puts a child abuse poem in my contests. This one was peaceful enough and I thought it was nicely done. I loved the imagery of heaven you gave, it added the needed serenity. Excellent work and good luck in my contest.
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Too sad
You did an outstanding jod on this poem. I hate to even have to think of this being something that we all must hear about and deal with. For children are a true blessing from God and people who abuse them should have the worst pain brought upon them. There is NO excuse for child abuse or for that goes any abuse. Great job and good luck.
Oh and to the guy that said hahaha what is your problem? This is no laughing matter at all in any kind of way.
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pretty good
but reakky sad
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very very sad because we know this is true so many kids die at the hands of their parents loved your take on feeling their peace when they reched heaven someone cares for them the angels god and people like you a well written poem from the heart awsome
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Oh, I so hope and pray that these children are given bodies that never feel pain again, sad to say this side of the pond too we have parents and carers that desecrate these tiny tots too, myself and a large group of caring Moms are part of a campaign to get the law changed on their behalf, the first will be a walk from Basildon to the Houses of Parliament. Congratulations on the shiny TM, keep speaking out for those who cannot speak for themselves hon.
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hahaha
i loved it
amaing ! -
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Prison-Break-Fan
Perhaps I shouldn't ask this on TM's page, but why the hahaha comment left on a poignant poem re small children being abused 'til they become angels and finally free from abuse?
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I shiver from horror reading these words. It is inconceivable, yet taking place in numbers that are very disturbing. No type of punishment will ever befit or be able to undo such crimes. One million children disappear every year in the US - which comes down to a shocking amount of almost one out of 300 residents. The fate of many is unknown, but the agony of some cases has been separated from obscurity. It should be a top priority of any government to deal with this disgraceful problem. Thank you for creating and sharing. I wish you the best in the contest.
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Such a touching write about a crime beyond understanding. It has happened just the same in the UK so many times too. What world are we living in now?
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Ellan...good to hear from you. This is quite a sad, touching work that you and I can almost relate to. Our hatred of those who abuse a child. Very touching and compelling work. Thanks for sharing this and bringing it to my attention.
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:(
I know if anybody where to ever touch my little boy.. i would kill somebody.. I think the parents who can stand to hit their own babies.. no.. just no.
thank you for entering. this actually touched me close to home, I had a friend who committed suicide because his whole life he was beaten senseless.. thank you.
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This is a very nice piece of work. keep up the great work and thank you for sharing it, may you have a marvelous thanksgiving
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Excellent write this one! Many people turn the blind eye to what they can plainly see for the fear of having to step out of their comfort zone and become involved. Even an anonymous tip can save the life of a child.
Thank you for writing this.
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OK, pass the tissues! this was amazing!!
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Aaaaaaw Dannnng
This swells the eyes and there are so many who are abused- physically-verbally-emotionally-mentally and it is painful to envision~
So young and their lives cut short
Powerful piece penned and tight rhyme!
Excellent!
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Voice~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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