Let's run far away,
to an enchanted place,
where we can live happily,
and all our problems erase.
All we need is a little pixie dust
and we can fly across the starry sky,
to our magical kingdom
where rules of gravity don't apply.
As we fly in the night,
we jump from star to star,
and not have to worry
about not being who we are.
Every day that goes by,
we will forget our lives on earth,
the hard times and painful times,
it will like a second birth.
Soon we will know only
of happiness and fun times
so let's go together into dream world,
for it is now bedtime.
Author notes
called "Dream World" this is where anyone can go if they just think about it before they go to sleep.
Missa
A contest entry
- Can You Catch Your Dreams? by whits end.
1050 points, ended December 13, 2008, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What is your first thought when you see this picture? by Nardiarrrg.
550 points, ended December 27, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This is very optimistic than the one rpeviously, and somehow seems like an enchantment of your personality, a very caring one, should I say. lovely words, I enjoyed this very much.
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Well written..
thanks for entering and good luck..
=]] -
Excellent!
This is a great expression of how dreams make you feel.
"As we fly in the night,
we jump from star to star,
and not have to worry
about not being who we are."
I like that part, especially "and not have to worry about not being who we are."
Great job and good luck!
Thank you for entering!
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I love poems about dreams. Everything is always better in a dream. This is a wonderful write. I loved the 3rd stanza. Jumping from star to star without worrying of self image or any of todays problems.
I think you left out a word in the 4th stanza, last line.
Other than that I really enjoyed this. Thank you!!
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Lovely poem
When I saw the line about pixie dust, I thought of Peter Pan
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haha. that's what i was watching when i wrote this.
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lol
awesome! I haven't watched it in years
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This had the tone of a child's poem to it. Something that would be read just before story time especially; something to prepare them to daze off into that magical place.
I think you did a good job with that overall atmosphere, but I think there is some technical stuff you could still work on. I think the first two stanza's had really forced rhyme. The final line in each; where the rhyme came threw, felt as if it was only penned to rhyme - and therefore it makes the part lack strength. I thought the following three rhymes were well done however. I also think that you could work on some stronger imagery in this write; and that would allow this place your are speaking off to truly feel magical; because it would almost feel like we are in that place ourselves
However, I liked your more literal take on the prompt, and can defiantly see a mother or father reading this to their child just at bedtime... very nice Thanks for the entry!
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haha...actually the first 2 stanzas were the easiest to rhyme. thanks for the comments.
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Thank you for your sweet entry, Josie
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