What if the moon was really made of cheese,
and a bogeyman lived in your closet.
And what if water was solid and firm,
forming towers where raindrops deposit.
Imagine the world really being flat,
like a canvas floating in outer space.
And if thoughts had a physical presence,
able to wound or tenderly embrace.
What would it be like if wishes came true,
with a pot of gold at each rainbows end?
And if gingerbread men would spring to life,
mixed together in a magical blend!
Magic like this can truly be seen,
it’s not such an absurd aspiration.
Just close your eyes tight and you will find,
it lives within your imagination!
Author notes
My theme is "Imagination"
*POM Contest*
In a list
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM - by Bear by Arkbear.
3500 points, ended December 1, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Love this...
Imagination is a such powerful thing,
where all we can dream of is real.
Closing your eyes, no limit of whys,
and loved ones are so close to feel.
Dreaming of love as enemies fall,
unlimited passions we breathe.
For when we're awake, reality's fake,
with idiots around us, we seethe... lol!
Your words inspire the imagination, fantastic write...
Well done!!!
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No fair!!!! lol!
Your comment is better than my poem! lol! -
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Lol! I wouldn't say that, its an inspiring piece you have here...
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Hello and Welcome to POM
Hello,
I enjoyed this very much, it was written with the innocence of child like beauty.
Your imagery was great, although the theme way to common.
Perhaps if you would have choosen one... of the little beauties you wrote about, it may have had more impact to not being so common?
Your flow was excellent!
Keep penning you are very talented.
My scores will be at finale judging.
Best Regards,
~Lisa~
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Hullo and welcome the POM,
Really enjoyed the imagery in your lines, nice whimsical poem without really leaving anything to ponder, again nice enough but no real impact in my opinion, thanks for joining us and good luck,
Floorboards. -
I must say, I truly enjoyed this write!!!
There are a lot of problems, with the
grammar…filler words etc. but all in
all a great theme, fairly decent flow…
IF you take out most of the “and” s
in this write, it will be much better:
What if the moon was really made of cheese,
or a bogeyman lived in your closet.
What if water was solid and firm,
forming towers where raindrops deposit.
Imagine the world really being flat,
like a canvas floating in outer space.
Imagine thoughts had a physical presence,
able to wound or tenderly embrace.
In this case I think the repeats work…
other judges may disagree…but just my
opinion…
If you close your eyes tight, you’ll find,
it lives within your imagination!
This is just a quick example…it could be
even more refined. There are a lot of
cliché s in this…which will lower score
a bit…but in the context, understood why…
J…
Best wishes in the contest!! My scores will
appear in final notes…
Write on!
REMEMBER; NO editing once a judge has commented
on your work.
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Hello
Over-all, a very common Theme.....but your imagination sure brings lots of visuals to your write
I do suggest, after the contest closes....go back into numerous other (past) PO' COntests, and read the variious Thems.....you will see this has been done quite often ~
Loved your ability to make me continue reqading, even though your Theme is common ~
You have a talent.....it's nice of you to share it with us.....but....how will this entry do in this POOM.....let's see!
Good luck!
No editing once a Judge has touched your work,
Bear ~
Title 6.5...I would not click on this Title unless I wanted to read about this Genre -
Flow 9.85....not bad.....couplets are pretty easy for Flow-
Depth 6.8..wanted to know more....dig deeper for those areas of thought which are not so common -
Theme 4.45...too cliche'-
Feelings 6.85....I was not engaged as much as I woulod like to see -
Grammar 9.3....pretty straight-forward....looking for a few Mets to hold me in thought -
Presentation 5.95...break up those couplets....you have a huuuuummmm Tone with the same S* format..(all couplets)
Uncommonness 7.5...unique approach, but common Theme -
Sit & Ponder Affect 8.75...I did ponder a bit.....had a smile at the end
-Ability to follow Rules 10! -
Bears Score: 75.95
Not bad....just be careful when choosing your Themes....Creativity Themes are found in the depths of your soul -
No editing once a Judge has touched your work -
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Hi, and welcome to the POM!
Indeed, as Lady D. said, this is quite a common theme in poetry, which will hurt your score a little bit. Mind you, I did enjoy the playful feeling you brought to the table. Best of luck, and well done!
My scores will be revealed when the contest is over.
Laura
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Quite an uplifting piece, tho many writes have been done on this theme never are two alike. Very well penned, All the best in the contest with it
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Glad to see you got rid of the caps...
I like the feel of this. You have some good images and it just feels 'happy'.
best wishes in the contest.
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This was interesting but per rules you might want to go back and take off the capital letter of each new line it is not allowed in this contest. Good luck to you be well
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you have amazing imgation
love love love it, your daugher so lucky
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you need to re-read the rules
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It sure does! Great job, wow. Reminded me of my childhood. The metaphors were nice, too. The first line really hooked me up. Keep up the optimistic spirit!
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