Mark was a bright and healthy boy who was hardly ever ill,
that was untill one autumn day, whilst climbing up a hill.
He became so weak and helpless was forced to sit and rest,
a visit to the doctors who said he’ll need some tests.
The tests then proved positive his kidneys were very weak,
they said he must be dialised three times every week.
This went on for quite some time and Mark was so depressed,
the once bright and healthy boy was a regular hospital guest.
Time went on and Mark was placed on the long transplant list,
Ma and Pa as “blood relations”were approached by the specialist.
To donate one of their kidneys that they would not normally decline,
unknown to Mark he was an adopted child of a different blood line.
Now Mark was disapointed and he sorely wondered why,
the folks he loved so dearly by choice would let him die.
The parents had no option to tell Mark the reason they,
couldn’t donate their kidneys that ,that was the delay.
Mark was totally dumbfounded at this double shock,
said you never would have told me if I wasn’t such a crock.
The dialasis continued and Mark became resigned,
to stay for ever on this machine while life left him behind
Then providence took over, to his sad parents delight,
a letter from a famous surgeon,asking if he might.
Use experimental stem cell surgery on their little boy,
and maybe bring a new life to their little pride and joy.
And as they thought there’s nought to lose gave the go ahead,
and tried hard to be cheerful as they told Mark in his bed.
The operation day came round the atmosphere was tense,
the parents waited anxiously held in such suspense.
Eventually the surgeon appeared and smilingly he said,
“Folks! history’s been made today Dialasis is dead.
Your little boy’s got no borrowed kidneys,
he’s got his own instead.”
.
Author notes
JUDMC/Grandpa i'm 84
A contest entry
- NO CLICHE ! YES PREWRITES ! by Anu-Nataraj.
400 points, ended November 28, 2008, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short and sweet by poetyaknoit.
550 points, ended December 8, 2008, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everything you want! by xxvampyregirlxx.
490 points, ended December 20, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewritten contest for group "So you want comments" by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended February 3, 77 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking for Ap Family only 3 rules :) by Ami.
700 points, ended April 14, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Want a Poem Story by StarlightCerulean.
775 points, ended April 15, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 60 prompts for 60 poets. by Xx.Toxic.xX.
750 points, ended July 16, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write me a miracle. by darlee77.
1400 points, ended July 9, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do you believe in miracles by Sunshine Princess.
900 points, ended July 7, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest - round 1 by serenity silvermoon.
929 points, ended October 12, 459 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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I like your poem Sir there need be more miracle like this have for people so life better have nice day.
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great write. i liked it alot.
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This is fantastic, I felt as if I were travelling the journey with him, quite captivating in it's sadness and then the relief of the ending as I had convinced myself of his mortality. Wonderful rhyme. Best to you in the contest
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AutumnGypsy
Many thanks for your kind comments on "Miracles of the Future" and for making me one of your favourites( which I have reciprocated)
Your poem by Elizabeth Kubler Ross(doctor)reminded me of the fact
that her claim to fame was her persuance of "Near death experiences"
in the course of her work,she and Doctors Ring,Sabom,and Moody
all wrote books on the subject.Dr Ross has a signed and witnessed
statement by a collegue six months after her death.Just thought you'd
like to know....George
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Very Well Done!
I really liked it, it had a lovely flow and I was at the edge of my seat throughout. Its easy to make a sad story, hard to make a sad story with a happy ending. Congradulations!
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Oh and by the way..
Thank you so much for donating points for the contest
-♥Amanda♥
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Sounds Great =)
Great Write and
Thank You for entering
Good Luck
-♥Amanda♥ -
I do like a bit of rhyme and this has lots of it! so lovely! and it turns it into an almost story, so thats good too. i love the flow of this its a hard thing to do for many but youve got it down, and also, a lovely upbeat twist considering the obvious lure of depressing poetry in something titled "illness"! thanks for entering
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A very good story poem from top to bottom and I love the happy ending afterewards. These kind of poems are kind of a love hate style. You either love this kind of poetry or you do not, but either way it is well written
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Full circle.
Good job!
The boy went from happy, healthy
to sad, sick, no hope, hurt, confused, happy, healthy.
You did great getting all the feelings out.
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what an interesting story!
i even like the rhyme in this one.. it adds more to it, and usually i really dislike rhyme.
this was great.
thanks for entering and goodluck
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umm I is confused... which one does yous want? Anyway great story!
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elfstone
I am reading your puzzling comments on Miracles of the Future, "umm I is confused
which one does yous want"? is this a joke or do you always write English so badly.....
George.......
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great story. I was thinking about adoption the other day and my thoughts were that an adopted child should be happy because he's chosen ... not by an accident of birth but by parents that really want him. Any way ... thanks for entering
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What a wonderful story in
poetic form! Thanks so much for entering!
Best wishes in the contest.
Write on!
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willowwisp
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Miracles of the Future" so glad you liked it Best Wishes George
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WOW !!! this is SPLENDID !!! not many excel in the art of writing a story in the form of a poetry but you surely do I can say this !! keep writing !
Take care - Ankita A. -
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Ankita A
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "MIracles of the Future" glad
you liked it,my forte seems to be Story Poems "Little Girl" "Peters Girl" "Blue Eyes" "The Waife" "Philip's Way" to name but a few.
Best Wishes and Kindest Regards... George ++++
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Omg this is so amazing! I love it!!!
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xxvampyregirlxx
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Miracles of the Future"
I'm so glad you like it.Best Wishes George ++++
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Congratulations on your previous wins! Stem cell 'research'/experimentation is not a topic I'm comfortable with; I accept the use of adult stem cells in medical science, but not those of unborn children or fetuses as science terms them.
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OrangeMarmalade
Many Thanks for your comments on "Miracles of the Future" in my poem
the patients own stem cells were used nothing was donated.
hence the last line in the poem Best Wishes George -
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I thought that was the case...
but I always want to be clear were I stand. I can relate to the kidney problems. It is an inspiring write, definitely a bright outlook, a hopeful future, and miraculous outcome when all seems bleak. I could use that these days with my premie nephew and Godson.
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Story poem
I like this. Story poem, It's grand. Go to my page and find "hidden road" you might like it -
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Killing Kelsey
Many Thanks for your kind comments on"Miracles of the Future"
glad you liked it.I quite enjoyed your "Hidden Road" poem it was a little gruesome in places but quite well written.I'm a sucker for happy endings though.All my story poems end happily except one which is called "Little Girl" you need a hankey it's so sad.
Best Wishes and Kindest Regards George
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Truly....
...A very impressive story line with emotional attachments in turmoil;
Congrats. Thanks for entering the contest.
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nature
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Miracles of the Future" so glad you liked it Best Wishes George
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WOW kewl idea on a modern, debated topic. It is very expressive of your perspective and this character's struggles. I really like it. Good luck in the contest. Keep on writing, ~TC
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Most certainly something to be thankful for.
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a very touching write. I think it would far more impactful with out the predictable rhyme, but pulls the heart strings reguardless. Congrats.
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;(
"“Folks history’s been made today Dialasis is dead.
Your little boy’s got no borrowed kidneys,
he’s got his own instead.”"
You succeeded in bringing a tear to my eye...
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Wonderful write. Excellent if mostly sad story. You really feel for the child in this. Good work.
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This went on for quite some time and Mark was so depressed,
the once bright and healthy boy was a regular hospital guest.
I LOVED YOUR POEM ON THE WHOLE !!!
BUT YOU HAVENT READTHE RULES !..PLEASE GO READ RULES
GOOD WORK !
BEST OF LUC -
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Anagha
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Miracles of the Future"
re- the rules sorry ! I must have been tired.I have now complied with your request. Best Wishes and Kindest Regards George....
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