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Labyrinth (Adult)

Net stockings over well shaped legs
recalled scenes from B movies, long ago.
I almost expected her to have a
cigarette in a long holder…
until I looked into her eyes.

Deep green, sparkling in the dim light,
they pulled at that part of me
that had no name… but I knew I needed
to please her… whatever that meant.

Her voice was low, husky, as I began
to give her my best lines… she laughed
at the right places… her gloved hand
touching mine… lightly, intimately,
then flitting away like a dark butterfly.

A few drinks and I worked up the courage
to ask her if she’d like to leave… with me.
A brilliant white flash in the darkness
was all the answer I needed and I took
her hand,  leading her toward the door.

Outside, we stopped in the shadows
and her warm sensuous lips caressed
mine, her tongue inquisitively searching
the inside of my mouth.

As she pushed up against me,
her full breasts spread across
my chest, the hard nipples
teasing mine.

Suddenly, I became aware
of the heat emanating from
between her legs as she
wrapped herself around me.

Coming up for air,
I whispered…
“Please, tell me
that’s a gun…”



Author notes

The image reminded me of old movies with private eyes and gangsters and that's the feel I was hoping for... smoked filled bars and floosies ... with a twist

Prompt: Picture
Picture Credit: http://bagnino.deviantart.com/art/sensual-97621916
No line limit

labyrinth - an intricate combination of paths or passages in which it is difficult to find one's way or to reach the exit

A contest entry

Critical Comments Always Welcome

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • LittleMoon silver member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh what a lady, what a night! Fantastic ending to a really classy, sensual write. How many guys has that happened to I wonder, not many would ever say. Brilliant and fun.


    • KayJay
      December 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Never me that I'll admit to Thank you for taking the time to read and comment... Always appreciated.
      Ken


  • badnovocaine
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness, I liked this one also, such vivid imagination, you know I really liked how you related this to the movies of private eyes and gangsters, I thought that was pretty cool. I love those old movies like that, especially black and white, and sometimes the movies are so epic that you can't help not to like them.
    -------
    Her voice was low, husky, as I began
    to give her my best lines… she laughed
    at the right places… her gloved hand
    touching mine… lightly, intimately,
    then flitting away like a dark butterfly.
    --------------
    I liked how you described the gloved hand and such, like how you described what the girl was feeling and her looks, it wasn't a downright description but it was subtle hints of what she might looked liked, and you made it classy indeed, with a hint of mystery.

    Kind of like seeing a mysterious girl in red smoking old school long cigaretts who is usually up to no good, but you just know that she is beautiful and you want to know her.



  • FaerieNWonderland
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol i really like this. its funny. the ending really did surprise me! it flows so well. it was well written.
    i really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing!


  • Tattboyspet
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwwwwwww mannnnn ~groan~
    roflmao!
    talk about a cheesy ending?!
    hahahahahahahahahaha!
    gotta tell you though, I got about 19463 pairs of fishnet stockings but I don't carry a gun (metal or otherwise!) *tongue


  • jcat gold member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely LOVE this!!!! I was soooo not expecting that!!!! This was brilliant Ken!!! I am so glad you sent this my way! I really really really needed this laugh tonight!!! You are awesome!!!


  • Amarillistarshot silver member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lol!!!!! Wow! That definitely threw me for a loop! I sort of suspected right near the end, but I laughed my butt off anyway, because of the whole 'gun' thing. Well done! And no mistakes to be found. Absolutely wonderful timing! I needed that laugh tonight. Thank you.


  • Jesann gold member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh what a twist!!!! Ha ha.. Still laughing.
    Wonderful imagery.
    A clever and humorous take on the prompt, well done.


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm trying very hard to stop laughing.. until I'm done with my comment. the suspense was wonderful, like a buildup, then the ending wasn't quite what I thought it would be.. lol but that makes it even funnier.. I love your take on this prompt. the imagery throughout this entire piece was outstanding and vivid. I really enjoyed reading this.

    good luck
    kat


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well done!
    well done!
    that last line...we all raised our eyebrows...oh damn!
    a perfect moment of ........."surprise!"
    way to write!
    feast of a well written poem!
    ears/Seattle


  • Riftkin gold member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, wonder if it was a gun.. or a well packed pistil ready for some male bonding.

    Great job here, best of luck with this one.

    Joann

1 - 11 of 11