they wear dresses
made from jaded prejudice -
cut from patterns
of cookie-dough that was
too sweet to pass their lips
at his disregard
they shrieked blackanger
like harpies, deprived of
the sport of blind Phineus
but the slow spread of
radiance as he took her
whiteglove hand was enough
to dispel ugly breath
of disdain
and when candles shed their
yellow acceptance -
everyone glowed beautiful
Author notes
This was inspired by a beautiful picture by James Hickey - it can be seen through the contest link. The Harpies were sent by Zeus to plague the blind King Phineus, as punishment for revealing the secrets of the gods -whenever food was set before him, they would swoop down and take it, either to eat it or to drop it in disgusting places (think excrement) so that he wouldn't be able to eat it himself.
Not my best I know, but the sentiment is one that I believe to be important!
A contest entry
- We Are Not Cookie-Cutter Perfect But We Are Women Beautiful by Dalaney.
850 points, ended November 29, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is a draft - be as harsh as you like.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"they wear"
Present tense?
The rest of the poem seemed to be in the past tense...
But then again, I guess it kind of makes sense for that first stanza to be in the present tense if it's not entirely related to the rest...
...now I'm just confusing myself.
"jaded prejudice"
That has great sound to it.
"blackanger"
I almost didn't notice this was compounded...it looks like it could be a real word; me likes.
"yellow acceptance"
When it comes to colors,
you're good at making them real
in a way not quite abstract and not quite literal.
I'll settle for "making them poetic".
;
Jessica
-
Something different as well as sentimental. Its as
if I could hear your voive while reading it. Love the
read from start to finish.
-
Your ending stanza just took
my breath away. I have always
had a "thing" for endings with
a zing and you've accomplished
that here. The entire poem is
outstanding. Thank you so much
for your entry. Love, Lane -
Hood Wink!
I very much like the sentiment within this one hun; I am drawn into it and want to read it again and again
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
(Apologies for late Hood-Wink!)
-
100th Hood-Wink!
I liked the use of colour and the imagery was mostly good. I thought the first stanza didn't make me imagine very much. Cheers
-
100th hoodwink
If the harpies punished you, it was for good reason. You don't piss off harpies. Good luck to you in the contest. It's your hoodwink day!
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