My mind drifts through
worlds I only feel
and picks at sores
that will not heal.
I live through days
so much distressed.
When night shows up
I'm so depressed.
I'm such a wreck,
my illness lasts
from wake to sleep
now and past.
Inflaming long past vagaries,
mistakes I've made
from brain disease.
I only wish
to live at last
revere my future
pain in the past.
A contest entry
- Your most personal & meaningful poem from ( 2008 ) by justgot2loveme.
1500 points, ended December 11, 2008, 52 entries
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I know this needs more work, thanks for any contructive criticism
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is an amazing poem, full of emotions and so powerful.
Great wright!
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beautiful imagery and symbolism.
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I like what you did here
I only wish
to live at last
revere my future
pain in the past.
well expressed, killer last stanza
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I know how this feels, you're not the only one here. I am often left feeling lost and not knowing what I want/need.
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"picks at sores
that will not heal." reminds me of how when we mull thngs over and over again in our mind it is so hard to let go. Sometimes we have to dismiss thoughts ... release dreams and just let go. thank you for entering. -
thanks so much for entering!
Best wishes now, and always!
Write on!
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beautiful and heartbreaking full of hope and going forward.
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WONDERFUL!!!
One keep drifting towards a new and bright future where there past mistakes, pain and sorrow are all left behind.
's
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Wow...this piece is jam-packed with emotion and imagery. I have so much to catch up to on your pages. I will get there though; thank you for posting this (some may never mention it, but I have learned along the way that more people benefit from the experiences of others than they may ever admit). This was the most striking line for me: "Inflaming long past vagaries,
mistakes I've made
from brain disease." Who cannot relate to this? (Brain disease or not).
AsIThink...
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"revere my future/pain in the past." There is a note of optomism here, if not mistake. It's not all pain and sadness.
Hope you make it through. You've got your own strength going for you.
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Sweety this is so sad,
Yhis piece made me cry, heartbreaking.
I wish you well, all the best to you.
Thanks for sharing and good luck.
Justgot2loveme
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I hurt for you.
Humanity is to care for those hurting and help. This poem draws the reader in. I do hope this is not your state of being. Just a little work on the meter, is all. Good write.
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