Clouds resting softly on the old lava peaks
Tears from heaven dripping onto lava crags
Splashing from the rocks,forming little rivulets
Trickling down the slopes, building strength as they flow
Washing age old dust from crevices and cracks
Making colour streams, marking the hollows and gullies
Rusty red. The valley at the foothills is already
Filled with silt and slush, so the march begins to move,
Ever downwards, gathering momentum and building
A destructive force as the battalions make one
Concentrated spearhead, crushing everything in its path.
Warnings must go out, for the river's burst it's banks.
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Comments
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The first two lines immediately put me in mind of the worn down vulcanic crags in Queensland I remeber seeing on the way up to Bundaberg many years ago.
I liked the military metaphores
It leads you on to the climax nicely
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The mountains are actually the Warrumbungle Ranges not far from home. Used to be a volcano way way back, fascinating area. Many thanks for your constructive comment.
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What a great write. How you managed to put the images in this piece and create a living landscape. The river burst its banks! I like the way you lead into this. A destructive force as the battalions make one concentrated spearhead. You know, i have never ever thought to write the bursting of a river bank in this fashion. It was pure genious and when you look at it, waters and all the debris that flow down can act as battalions. This is like a full on mud sliding that certainly does march as you describe. No pickups in this piece that i can speak of. Great write.
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You what I find odd about this poem, the timing of it's posting. The City of Tamworth is virtually cut in half by floodwaters today. They had six inches of rain yesterday and the Peel River burst its banks. I really am grateful for your in depth comments, you show me where my poetic construction worked and where it didn't. By doing this you have helped me quite a lot. Thank you for being yourself.
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This reminds me of the mighty Mississippi river which begins as a small rill in the northern part of Minnesota and look what it became. A most peaceful easy read and soothing to the soul.
David
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Many rivers start very small and build up to be mighty waterways quite quickly. It's normal. I saw a documentary on the Mississippi and it was quite beautiful to see the deevelopment of the river. Many thanks, my friend,for your kind words.
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A beautiful way to descibe nature in its course. A living, draining, flowing body, carving and reshaping the earth in the journey. From the trickle to the flood, showing the many moods of mother nature. Well done...alby
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I sahll be forever fascinated by the workings of Mother nature, the sheer beauty, the violence and destruction, the peace and tranquility as her moods change. Thank you Alby, for your continuing support.
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Brilliant
Awesome write, enjoyable read...I'm a sucker for natural formations, nature's monuments.
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Mother Nature has created some absolutely wonderful monuments, we are able to enjoy them and appreciate them. It seems we share a love of natural things. Many thanks for your comments, I appreciate them.
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this is really great, it's amazing what can happen in nature, and very beautiful at the same time, what a fantastic write!
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The power of nature should never be underestimated, nor the sheer beauty ignored. I am blessed, living amongst such beauty, and concerned at the same time about the power of the waters that come downstream from the mountains. Thank you for such a supportive comment.
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Loved it. There are great basalt walls around here where lava flowed down creeks and rivers in a long ago time. Fascinating stuff!
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John, the mountains just up the road are the remains of a volcano extinct for 13 million years, Even the remnants are fascinating, with solidified lava sticking up from the soil some hundreds of metres. Our river starts up there as just a trickle. Many thanks , my frieend , for your thoughts.
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Bob
funny tonight I watched the history channel and they had a story about how life was destroyed some 250 billion yreas ago. The called them the Siberian fire traps. You made me see them again. You, a man of much knowledge.
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Thanks Bob, you are a scholar and a gentleman. Just up the road a bit is a mountain Range that is the remains of a shield volcano. It's a National Park now but it has me fascinated. It is approximately 51 thousand hectares[100 thousand acres]. There is a photo on one of my poems. Thank you for your comments and I am pleased you were reminded of the siberian fire traps.
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