The very first body arrived July Sixth
In the back garden covered with blood,
With feathers askew and leaves intermixed
With cedar brown mulch and coppery mud.
A stray cat, I thought and buried the bird
Next to the rose bush and close to the fence.
But then a cat body, grossly de-furred,
And possum, neck-broken, made me quite tense.
All on my doorstep: five bodies were left.
All of the neighborhood pooches were cleared.
A wolf or coyote, known for their theft?
But it wasn’t any of them that I feared.
I’d taught in the grade school just down the way.
Fourth and fifth graders, as bright as could be.
But always one child who couldn’t quite play
Without hurting another, and chuckle with glee.
Two years I watched, and the child saw my eyes;
He learned to pretend and tried hard to please
All other teachers by telling smart lies.
He practiced “passing” as normal with ease.
He knew that I knew he’d evil inside
That made him take pleasure in causing great pain.
The truth of his tendencies he couldn’t hide;
He hated me knowing: this was quite plain.
He left us then for the “Gifted Child” school.
I breathed in relief through all that last year
Before I retired and came home to tool
Around in my garden. I let go my fear.
Now these animal deaths. And the next stage
For psychopath killers was terror and threat.
I called the police, but without proof on page
There was no protection that I could get.
Then came the power shut off without cause
And steps flooded with oil so I would slip.
My tires were slashed, and doors glued with gauze,
And finally wire strung so I would trip.
Phone calls and hang-ups began late at night
Hoarse heavy breathing with chilling light laugh
Mail came with curses so vile to my sight:
He’d skin me alive, or cut me in half.
This situation would only get worse.
So I studied my home as I ‘d study a star;
Each entry was locked as tight as a purse
And only one window was left ajar.
I’d nary a weapon to defend myself
But like a spider I could lay a trap
I went to my craft room and found on a shelf
Synthetic plaster to make quick-set wrap!
So under that window below the broad sill
I filled a large bag with epoxy glue
To activate resin ready to spill
If someone unwelcome entered that flue.
Two nighttimes later I heard a crazed voice,
Smelled chemicals mixing to capture my prey
I called the police and they heard me rejoice:
I’ve caught the killer. Now come make him pay!
Author notes
Age: 12 - 15
A contest entry
- Poems According to The Age. by The.poet.of.hearts.
400 points, ended February 17, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In Honor Of My 50th Gold Trophy On AP by BluesMan.
3000 points, ended February 27, 40 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
-
Oh, what a tragedy this piece speaks of. I love all animals, but when I found a bunch of baby birds thrust out of their nest by a neighborhood cat, I was incensed beyond words. 
-
Well I am very impressed withthis dark story masterfully told Excelent rhyme and flow Thank you so much for entering my contest
-
First i thought, ohh its too long, then i read it and it increasesd my interest, liked the way you have made a mystery, but i still feel soemthing is missing, may be the theme or idea. but it was nice thiough
Likeness, Age comparison, words,Beauty, Ideas, Thoughts,Title, level of poetry
these all contains 100 marks, and i will mark out of hundred to let you win
and you scored 69.5
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
-
I taught a kid like that-- ScaRY!
It will be no surprise to you that this poem is one of the finalists here. Although | am not authorized to judge, (hence it remains "not viewed etc") I am helping BluesMan who is in hospital.
If interested, IM me if you'd like to see the wealth of technical things I found in it. There might even be something you had not intended!
Terry
-
OMG!
This was brilliantly penned! Very creepy indeed! Yikes!
-
My goodness I would have been scared to death
So often we can see the makings of ones mind as they feel joy from pain . Sad it is for often the emballance takes others before the ones who can stop it ever sees
-
Awesome
I could just see it all plain as day and the ending was a remarkable idea!
-
chilling
Your story has details which can only come from real life experience. It is scary to know these circumstances exist. This is a great piece of writing here. My only suggestion is to add a stanza which depicts the culprit's reaction to being caught. I am glad for you this turned out well and without a gruesome ending. I look forward to reading more of your writings. You have a way of keeping the reader hooked to the end.
-
A poem that must develop over a decade or so? 5th grade = probably 10 years old... by the time he's stepping in epoxy... just guessing he's a 20 year old, or so? One verse in the middle to indicate some discrete amount of time passage would help, I guess.
-
-
Well, I'd hoped to suggest that he was still in his teens, perhaps 15 or 16 -- do you think that is too unbelievable? Or do I still need more of a passage stanza. I value your opinion, as you know!
-
-
Oh, this is so sad! I hope you win in the second contest! It is so touching. Thank you for adding this amazing poem!
-
A very thrilling and mysterious poem / story, beautifully written with elements of both poetry and prose. I love the ending that you spinned here, dear poet.
Thank you for sharing with us winklings,
and good luck in your contests
In His Love,
Zach
-
-
Thank you for your very kind comments! I really do appreciate them!
-
-
It is a bit long but I didn't mind at all as it sailed along holding my interest as a story-poem should, I liked that it rhymed with the Agatha Chrystie style.
good sleuthing and captive ending.
-
-
Thank you for reading, Ronnica -- I appreciate it very much. Glad you caught the old-fashioned mystery style here!
-
-
Wow this certainly is mysterious. Love it, great job.
Thanks for entering and best of luck to you.
Dani. -
At the end I hoped to find that only his clothing was stuck to the resin and he escaped.
That way the reader is left to wonder and that is very pleasing... the wondering. You are a fine writer and I loved your poetic story. 
-
-
Yes, that would be a good way to raise the tension! I may have to add that in as I re-work this after the contest is over. Thanks for reading, and for the suggestion!
-
-
This is not what I expected, at first I thought that it was going to be something really dark and then at the end I was like oh nice write
You caught the killer, and the ending was much attitude about it!!! I also liked how you went in stages with the writing, going into more detail as the story unfolds.
Nice write I loved it.
This was awesome, I really liked it, I was fearing that this was a personal write but it just goes to show you wrote the story well, because I could have sworn that this seemed so real.
I loved it.
-
-
I'm always glad to get your comments, because you give me a different perspective. Thank you for such nice remarks! I guess I have to keep writing!
-
-
This is quite a psycho-thriller! The atmosphere is good and the details are scary - I'm not sure who was the killer, did you mean to reveal that or not? The rhyme is great, it's an entertaining poem.
-
-
Thank you for reading and your thoughtful comments. I didn't intend to name the killer, just let it come out that it was a person the narrator had taught, so not a very old person at all. I am hoping to work a bit more on this, perhaps make it a little more clear.
-
-
At first, A laugh - then, a Fear..
hahaha...then - finally, 'The End'...whew! You really had me going with this one. I loved how the build-up became so tense. I even was slouching over and then sat more upright as I got more into the story. You are quickly becoming my favorite story-teller. I loved this piece from start to finish; so many clever ideas and lines (too many to single-out and particular one). Good luck in the contest (but you already took the Gold in my book - wink.)
AsIThink...
-
-
So kind of you to get all the way through this -- it is long, but I tried to meed the contest guidelines. When I read it over, I think I might add a couple of stanzas before the end, to increase the tension even more (Laughing darkly!) We shall see!
Thanks for your kind remarks, as always.
-
-
Ohhh...you have a dark side that I've not seen before...I love this. Rhyme and meter are excellent and you tell a very dark tale that I hope is fiction.
All the best in the contest...Sue
-
-
Well, it's one of those "based on a true story" fictional works -- I could have gone into more detail, but didn't want to make it too long. Does it feel like it is missing something -- did I end it too soon without building up enough suspense? Any suggestions from you would be much appreciated!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 26 of 26
