I am done. My life has been nothing but disappointments,
One big long strand
Different titles, to the same story…
Same product, just a different brand
In search, I have travelled everywhere…
Tried every piece of land
Looking for a cure, to this disease:
I have an over secretive pain gland
Faced with defeat… as always,
I can’t seem to understand
Why love is supposed to be magical…
Beautiful and grand
When it can only be stumbled upon,
Never yours to reach for, never yours to demand
Some say it is my destiny, ironically
To forever be the man holding his own hand
To be in control of my own path,
I am the man in command
But still, as I look at the waves before me…
With my feet in the sand
Again… In this void that is my emptiness,
Alone, I stand.
Memnoch
11:34 PM 11/24/2008
Author notes
This is something i wrote after figuring out the obvious: Nobody cares.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Superb
A very fine write, indeed. Imagery; rythem and rhyme are just fine. Also, reminds me of an old favorite song: I Am a Rock, by Simon & Garfunkel.
I use to feel that this was my theme song. Here's a link: http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=RNWO,RNWO:2008-24,RNWO:en&q=I+Am+A+Rock+%2D+lyrics+%2D+Simon+%26+Garfunkel -
Great emotions and well written. I liked how you said Love can only be stumbled upon. The words are so true and still flow so well. I often feel the same way thinking that no one cares, but I hope to read more great poems from you. Maybe even some a little more on the cheerful side. Great write and take care.
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Very emotional poem. I love the loneliness. Very well done, the imagery is phenomenel.
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Great emotion.
really powerful.
(:
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wow this is amazing! its so powerful . i loved it you wrote this so beautifully.
i know what its like to feel like no one cares. i know its hard.
i enjoyed reading this , thank you for sharing this.
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To be in control of my own path,
I am the man in command
But still, as I look at the waves before me…
With my feet in the sand
Loved these lines this is a beautiful poem full of image its great I enjoyed reading!!
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emotive
It's a very emotive write. I like your lines :
"But still, as I look at the waves before me…
With my feet in the sand"
I can relate to loneliness as i feel it often,
Best wishes,
Isabella
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wonderful - I can relate
and someone does care!
Hugs, Moon
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This was amazing. I can relate to this feeling, always going in circles with life, finding no answers and more questions, beautifully done
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ur not done as long as im here
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Ah, a sharp piece, indeed! Bursting many bubbles, we can only hope that what you say is not entirely true! deftly penned throughout!!
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Indeed a sad yet beautiful write.
I absolutely loved it! Its perfect just the way it is.
And remember my friend, you're definately not alone. There's a lot of us "loners" out there in the world.
Thanks so much for sharing this great piece.
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tis not true that nobody cares... but this was a brilliantly written piece... the words really touched me,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx
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I really enjoyed this poem. Theres something to be said about being alone. It's like we don't know our worth until it is shown to us by another. But the worth is always there. But being alone, it takes stength, and if you're still standing, you got it. Very revealing piece.
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I understand pain sometimes its almost like a friend. I felt your words but I loved the last line because you may be alone but your words "I stand" have greater meaning to me. they inflect hope. For you never fell. kudos on this heartfelt write.
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You made me feel your pain. You expressed your feelings well. Pam
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Superb
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=RNWO,RNWO:2008-24,RNWO:en&q=Keep+on+smiling
A very fine write, indeed. I can relate to the essence of this poem. I used to suffer from chronic depression. Thanks to some excellent therapists, medication, training in meditation from The Teaching of the Inner Christ, occasionally self-hypnosis, I eventually triumphed over it and the attendant symptoms.
I think your poem is just fine the way it is.
Again, well done. -
aww this is so sad!
i like sad poems and this one certainly fits
Remember... when you look around and see no one there, that doesn't mean that no one care.
i'm sure there is something in your life that you can look at and be happy for.
Your whole life can't be a disappointment.
Alone you may see but alone you won’t be.
Just look closer...
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wow! this is a very beautiful look at sorrow and I appreciate the vulnerability in it.
Some say it is my destiny, ironically
To forever be the man holding his own hand.
I love this part it is so full of longing and yet somehow it seems to suggest acceptance.
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