And the dawn of day
falls down upon my head
and all hope of dreams
are shattered from this instant
what is this thing that
calls the wrath of the gods
down around my feet
I stand in a crowd of many
but only i feel of this heat
this flame of destruction
rushing through my body and soul
confusion at this defilement
is all i can pluck from my mind
i stand there and wonder
Of all the things i could have done
and lost along the way
by all rights i had thought that i
would receive better than this
but who is to blame
who is to lift this blaze
to cure this injustice
Corrupted thoughts trail my mind
following my moves
almost thinking for me
i push and struggle against this curse
this urge to destroy
attack and corrupt
and fall to my knee's weeping
For the sake of abandonment
is this cursed hour of need
i threw out my hand
desperate, beseeching
but there was no aid
no rush to cool this heated fire
i am the fallen
I lay on the ground
with the world roaring in my ears
groaning and gritting of teeth
against the pain flow inside
and without ever knowing why
i collapse on my side
i whisper one last prayer
and breath a last wind of dying
Oh those who fall from grace
Forever will you draw cursed breath
A reminder of a final pain
The greatest justice
Death
falls down upon my head
and all hope of dreams
are shattered from this instant
what is this thing that
calls the wrath of the gods
down around my feet
I stand in a crowd of many
but only i feel of this heat
this flame of destruction
rushing through my body and soul
confusion at this defilement
is all i can pluck from my mind
i stand there and wonder
Of all the things i could have done
and lost along the way
by all rights i had thought that i
would receive better than this
but who is to blame
who is to lift this blaze
to cure this injustice
Corrupted thoughts trail my mind
following my moves
almost thinking for me
i push and struggle against this curse
this urge to destroy
attack and corrupt
and fall to my knee's weeping
For the sake of abandonment
is this cursed hour of need
i threw out my hand
desperate, beseeching
but there was no aid
no rush to cool this heated fire
i am the fallen
I lay on the ground
with the world roaring in my ears
groaning and gritting of teeth
against the pain flow inside
and without ever knowing why
i collapse on my side
i whisper one last prayer
and breath a last wind of dying
Oh those who fall from grace
Forever will you draw cursed breath
A reminder of a final pain
The greatest justice
Death
Author notes
i seem to be drifting to the dark side...just a little bit twisted
" This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper. "
-From "The Hollow Men" by T. S. Eliot
A contest entry
- Bring your best. by PiratexxLove.
850 points, ended December 1, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Soul Killers and Salt Pillars by Loki.
1650 points, ended January 3, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
This was a interesting read - I've now read it a couple different times in various moods and have decided that it feels to me like the last thoughts in one's head as the end of days commences.
For the most part, I did enjoy it but I would suggest that you be more careful with spelling, as it is a pet peeve of mine and the contest holder. For instance, in line 43, you have used "breath" but I believe you may have intended "breathe".
In any case, thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest! -
darkside eh
Darkside is good, not a thing wrong with that
"Oh those who fall from grace
Forever will you draw cursed breath
A reminder of a final pain
The greatest justice
Death"
Love the emphasis you seemed to put on death.
ty for entering
-
to fee like a night stalker in the middle of the day, i guess that is what i kind of got from this, something i can relate to, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest

-
This was "just a little bit twisted", but just a little bit twisted in a great way.
I love it!
(And I'm not even one for darker writes, either.)
This is so powerful in the best way. From the start, you can't be exactly sure what this is talking about... but I love when poetry makes me think. It's why I'm here.
Great write!




