"You should have seen the world before it died"
there but my shadow lies in souls earthen keep
altruism despoiled widen by withered eyes
In visions heart once more mighty angels weep
did once the heavens raise voice in prayer?
across the beauteous blue of an empyrean lid
winds blowing sweet seasons scented air
beyond boundless verdant vital life undid
this vessel of hope and dreams now renounced
severed to mourn entities lament in woven ties
resting now not by mere adieu, but in joy pronounced
swept to sweet release by Elysium chorus, to but sigh
in gossamer dreams of infants unstained, salvation's breath
while humanities crucifixion lies waste the Immortal’s behest
Author notes
If your sonnet does not read with this first line, it will be dsq.
based upon the quote. "You should have seen the world before it died." (first line)
In sonnet form...I'm really not familiar with forms I'm taking a class here in AP and haven't got through the first lesson yet! So I looked up sonnet and tried my best. If I've made mistakes in the form please let me know. thankie *S* p.s. I should be taking a grammar course too, but I do have spell check 
A contest entry
- A sonnet please, by Have left the stage.
700 points, ended November 30, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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By line nine a volta, or change seems to appear with that vesel severed, while the smoothness was needed, maybe of about 10 - 12 syllables, as you went up to 15 sometimes, compared with the lowly 9, at one point, think of melody in melodrama - pace in pacify to varify the volta. I think it is possible to write a sonnet with undulations and on this it was evident, yet the story is usually one which we respond to and in this the responsive anxieties equip this with a tempo of high luminosity, meaning there are highlights where the hopes are in thought.
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yep I really have to learn this stuff..
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nice take on the prompt . . good luck in the contest !!
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ummm
words flow like the afton
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