She likes to swim in the ocean
though the salt dries out her hair.
The ocean is peaceful
(on sunny days)
more peaceful than
the space between her temples.
She relishes the escape
from the tense air
as she blows bubbles
into the waves...
She likes to rest by the rocks
but the tide beckons her
to swim.
Author notes
Metaphor?
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Yes, this piece may have some metaphorical representation, but I feel their is not enough to guide the reader. Your poem ends as a physical story about a girl on the beach.
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It depends on the state of mind of the reader as to what they receive from it, whether it be concrete or metaphorical, I've tried not to focus too much on that.
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"Swimming" can represent so much, from being immersed, being kept afloat, being adrift...
in so many ways.
It stands as it is too...an escape from everyday tensions....
the poem flows really nicely...
simply but truly written without striving for cleverness.
i enjoyed this.


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Yes, a metaphor. Glad you've left exactly what to the reader! I went sensual with it. Beautiful!


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So very well put...
beautiful flow to this piece!
I thoroughly enjoyed this poem.
Love, Lane

1 - 5 of 5





