i press myself between the pages
of someone elses book
just to say i thinned out
enough to be kept
tucked away
as a place-saver
a thought you might have to go back to
i talk of plans
that might never be
only this
is real
only this
is real
i am that click you hear
when the other line beeps
to let you know
there is someone
waiting
to talk to you
to hear your voice
to connect
the innards of electronics
have nothing on my mind
my hands move absently
as if i forgot how to touch
anything other than her skin
i hold on hard
to teeth and bone
waiting to be plucked
again
and strummed out
by loose fingers
and cold pinkies
A contest entry
- In Your Head by Candyknife.
700 points, ended November 30, 2008, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Love the wonderful metaphors throughout! So unusual, and yet so easy to identify with... a great read!
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This packs a fierce opening punch, and doesn't let up til it's over. It has a clear voice that says "I am here, and I will NOT
be ignored!" Another good write!
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i like this poem and i also love the use of metaphors and repetition of the stanza
keep up the good poem -
Wounderful metaphors that I can relate the poem to. Your emotions are clearly outlined in this piece. I have felt this way before when in doubt. You had a great form to this write.
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I love the bookmark and the call waiting metaphors ... they enhance that sense of waiting to be the chosen one ... or rather, the one that aches for the touch of the chosen one. Wonderful sense of the in-between state of mind and physical!
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brilliant...
i love the whole bookmark effect with the first stanza
that blew me away
its as if youre ok with being that as long as youre thought of, and know that you want to be kept around, for whatever reason that may be cause youve become so accustom to that person
very deep, and emotional piece
excellent
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Yea, this poem is the shit! You go with your big, bad self, girl. Your work is getting better, not that it was not great before. I just really get so many more of your pieces these days! Great job.
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i press myself between the pages
of someone elses book
just to say i thinned out
enough to be kept
tucked away
as a place-saver
a thought you might have to go back to
THAT WHOLE STANZA kicked ass=]
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