It stings my eyes
It burns my throat
So many bruises
So many chokes
I've never hated
You never cared
What to do
When times won't tell
I want a kiss
I want a hug
I'll be your light
Won't you be the warmth?
I couldn't harm
I couldn't dare
Still I made jokes
You didn't care
Tell me, tell me
Was I wrong?
Can't I love someone
Who I thought was strong?
Do you remember
Or did you forget?
Why was I cast off
While others were praised?
Can't I be something
Or am I your nothing?
You tore my heart open
Now I have nothing to give
Sew myself shut
Scream for dear life
Why won't you love me
Why won't you stare?
Gushing my soul
Out to the world
You'll never hear it
But everyone else will
I can't move forward
Even though I'm better off
Farewell to you lovely
Querido Jacob
Author notes
My final words to him.
I may print this one out. This is the final straw. I will force myself not to write of him. I can do better, right?
And I need to move on. I have a loving fiance and I friends waiting on me.
No one likes to hear me rant.
But he needs to hear this.
Cause he did this for four years straight.
He knew it hurt me.
He didn't care.
I want this to be the last I write of him. Please comment and review
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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i love this! i like it when i see someone put emotion and longing into their works. i like to be able to feel your pain sorrow happiness whatever it is your feeling at the time. i think you did a wonderful job at doing that. i loved your words and the way you executed this poem. I just love everything about it!
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kool poem and this is coming from an emo
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Umm?
Thanks?
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as hard as it amy be or seem ...MOVE ON ...you have gotten this far to express your final words to him....letting go of a love AINT EASY but sometimes the best thing to do is let it go ...bite ur lip and let go....trust me you will be happier ....if for four years he's treated you like crap..and not showed you thats you're love d...you DEFINATELY deserve better!! you say you have a loving fiancee.......try to focus that love ,attention,emotions his direction......best of luck.......ps dont try to substitute Jacob with the other......love your fiancee for who HE is and not for who you wanted Jacob to be!!!!
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Actually
Ironically, as he now has claimed to be my friend, he has also claimed that I am annoying. He also has a girlfriend that he dated about two years ago. I'm proud of him for finding someone again and also proud that she can stand him.
Immaturity level: He tried to throw a mouse at my face while I was about to be sick. D:
I love my guy anyways. And you're just one of my few motivators/supporters of getting him off my mind.
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I'm sorry to hear about that.
But if he was willing to do that and not show you that he loved you he isn't worth it. It's an amazing poem...<3
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:]]
Yayz
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Therapeutic, isn't it? I, too, have written a final poem for a lost "love." I needed some closure, but couldn't talk to anyone about it without hurting them (because my life has moved on). The poem did it for me, and now every time I look at the title in my list of poems, I smile because I know that I have said what needs to be said, but I didn't have to have the humiliation of saying it to him.
Blessings,
Jade -
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Yes.
I wrote one more, just to tell him. I made sure it wasn't as bad as this or the others. However, I used all my JTS poems together in it. I believe I enjoyed writing it. It was the only time I realized that he would read something I wrote. It wasn't my vampire stories; it was the real deal.
I am dealing with very little humiliation. He's actually quite nice to me. Supposedly, I am a 'good' friend. :/
Thank you,
Kori
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I know how you felt...I have emotions like this towards some of my exs...and it sucks does it not?
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Heh, I do hate that.
Ironically, I will tell you this.
I gave him this poem the day after. He refused profusely to read it. I said, "Please...read at least a paragraph and burn it."
Since I have wrote, published, printed, and given him this poem, he has spoken to me. He even took my offers to take him to places. He actually sees me now. He wants to be my friend. And I help him now. He's going into the army, and he wants to lose weight before boot camp. So, I'm helping him eat better.
Win, win situation, I suppose?
Too bad I already have my heart taken.
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WOW! Strong emotions in this! I love it! Sometimes, it hurts just as much to move on. I found that out with my ex...
But I am better off without him, and it sounds like you are too.
Great job!
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Thank you!
I've noticed a lot of interest in this poem. Out of all my poems, this has gotten more comments and helpful tips. :]
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I absolutely, positively loved it!! My favorite part was, "It stings my eyes
It burns my throat
So many bruises
So many chokes
I've never hated
You never cared
What to do
When times won't tell
I want a kiss
I want a hug
I'll be your light
Won't you be the warmth?
I couldn't harm
I couldn't dare
Still I made jokes
You didn't care"
It was the most intense and beautiful part, (to me)!
You're a fabulous writer!
Keep writing! You're a true poet!!
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heh
Thank you!
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The half-rhyming of the first half of the first stanza: It stings my eyes
It burns my throat
So many bruises
So many chokes
Misled me to think that the rest was going to rhyme. I liked that there was feeling in every line, and I think that's important. The title is beautiful, but I don't know if the rest of the poem reflect the mood of the title. Well done, though!! -
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Honestly
I know what you mean, and I can explain that.
Most likely, you cannot see the reflected mood, because you've never read the other Jacob poems I have. I think I might group those one day. I'm thinking of a collaboration of them all to send to him. I would like him to know my feelings still, although it wouldn't be worth it. He's a senior, and I'm a 'low-life' sophomore.
Thank you for commenting though. It was nice to get some criticism.
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A really emotional and powerful write. i really do like this poem it says a lot. It is very strong of you not to write about him anymore.
Kathryn (aka watergoddess101)
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:D
Thank you very much! I am happy you think this is a strong write.
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Really powerful, I loved it the entire way through. I love freewrite, as the form doesn't inhibit you from making your voice heard, so I really liked this poem. Especially because there is real pain behind it. A lot of poems are about death or depression, even though the poet may not have experienced the subject he or she is writing about. Simply the fact that this was a true story, full of emotions like anger, love, betrayal, etc., made it all the better. Also, it was excellently penned. Great job.
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Yeah..
I will admit, a lot of my poems are experiences I've never had. But this, came to me...I hope I can forget him when he graduates. One problem though: He's best friends with my fiance.
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There is so much emotion behind these words, I can feel it as I read this. I read your Author's notes, and not knowing much about the situation - I think it is very strong of you to not write about this person anymore.
Beautiful write. -
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Thanks
You have no idea how happy I am to have people telling me good job on never writing about him. It's been hard.
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