Long gone soft dusk, a silver moon climbs high
fed by bright night that serenades the trees
now haunted by a carefree, scented breeze
that sway and shiver, strong against the sky.
The wood is calling, whispers in the night
beguile the senses, autumn spreads her cloak,
a sea of sleeping leaves beneath the oak,
enchanting in the softened, starry light.
The weeping willow sheds a mournful tear;
her branches kiss the earth beside the stream,
lulled by the breeze the silver waters dream
and nothing is as first it would appear.
There's magic in the moonlight, lovers drawn
to seek romance before the breath of dawn.
A contest entry
- Trees by Frodofan.
525 points, ended December 4, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Very, very lovely
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Beautiful poem. The use of words is great and I love sonnets. Thanks for entering.
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Wow!~
I absolutely loved this. It just has a really soft and personal feel, and flowed beautifully. I love just about all of your poetry, but I think that this has got to be a favorite of mine!
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Bandit Appreciation!
Thank you for entering this poem into the reading list
your involvement is appreciated!
The Poetic Bandits
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Gorgeous.
Brethtaking in it's imagery, and oh, that lovely flow you do so well.
Another masterpiece I have to say.
Love,
jin
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I really like the personification of autumn here - gentle in her role of supporting the trees
this is full of beautiful imagery - and I really liked the way you create a place for each kind of tree that you mention lovely!
Keep writing
Polly
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Oh, I enjoyed reading this so much. The words just rolled off my tongue and fell into this beautiful landscape. Your counts are perfect, the rhythm is flawless. This is usually not my prefered genre, but it's impossible not to appreciate this for the fine piece of poetry that it is. Beautifully written.
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Wow. It reminds me of Halloween - all the movement. It's amazing and very classic. To make it a little neater I'd say double -space it or whatever.
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This is pretty damn good.
I love the way you used the sonnet form for this poem. It's quite fun to read this aloud, and the imagery is strong enough.
My suggestions:
Try breaking some of the run-on sentences in the middle of the poem.
The ending couplet is can probably be better. Sure, it's romantic, but the connection of the concluding couplet to the first twelve lines is too tenuous for it to be the effective punch that it should be.
Other than those points, it's fantastic.
(I have a weakness for autumn poems, and another for sonnets.)
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Captivating
This is sooo beautiful wow this was a pleasent read!!
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Beautiful.....
The poem has a peaceful, lulling flow, softly drawing you deeper as you descend.
Well done!
Sincerely,
~ ~ Janet ~ ~
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Beautiful sonnet. I find it very alluring, the descriptions are vivid. The personification is well done. The only thing I can find to critique about it is the middle, where it sounds like a runon at times--there are too many descriptions crammed into one sentence, and too many commas. Other than that, it's fine.
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"The wood is calling, whispers in the night
beguile the senses, autumn spreads her cloak,
a sea of sleeping leaves benath the oak,
enchanting in the softened, starry light."
I just love this bit - I can image a soft sea of leaves
to float in as we watch the starry night and dream our dreams. Great imagery, form and rhythm. Good work, Poet.
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The hands of the artist moves across the canvass leaving an image The hand of the poet moves across the page painting in words images that settle into pictures in the mind whilst directing thought and emotion. The pleasure of the experience enjoyed by all who read this poem. When spoken aloud you feel the words roll smoothly off the tongue and hear all the splendor created. Beautifully penned, Thank you for the poetic journey.*rose
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Beth
Your write of these scences like an artist would paint a canvas. Just so very beautiful.
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Okay I hereby declare you the QUEEN of sonnets!!!
Another captivating masterpiece.
You make a poem of such elegance; combining nature and imagery… seem so effortless.
I could almost smell the scented breeze, you vividly portrayed the woods, it’s impossible not to feel as if you were right THERE!
There’s not one part that I didn’t enjoy and every word struck hard with its depth and seamless flaw.
You’re one astounding writer!
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Swoonlight
B etween deep autumn and white winter frost
E nchantment fills her canvas with soft light
T hough much seems hid, dreams show all is not lost -
H ere history replays elf conquests bright
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makes me want to take a walk in the woods. beuatifully written, as always
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This is a lovely piece. It has a dream like quality and there is a sense of magic about the poem. Best of luck on all your future writes.
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What a wonderful work. The reader is taken through the dark, windswept forest, where leaves line the ground. Enchanted light catch the weeping willow drops shards of tear beside the moonlight reflection of a stream. Lovers enveloped in passions breath at dawn. The smooth images walk the reader along this walkway of passion. Great work
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I CAN SEE THIS IN MY MIND!!!!
There is indeed a beautiful drawing of the wood at autumn time that pulls us in and touches our hearts.'s
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The rhymes and the syllables are right on, good job!
There is only one thing I would like to point out here, and that is very picky.
the line "The wood is calling, whispers in the night
beguile the senses, autumn spreads her cloak," kind of stops the perfection of this piece in my opinion. The words and imagery there is great, but I think it loses the rythm if you compare it too your first two lines. It might just be me though
It's kind of funny.. I just wrote a piece about a love in the moonlight wanting the night's magic to never end.
Anyhow.. thank you for a great read, it's been an inspiration and delight. And yes, there is magic in the moonlight.
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So dreamy!
Beautifully penned with aplomb & skill. Love the tempo, flow & thyme of this. It's a cloudy day, I'm 
& after reading this I just want to sit back & dream! 
This is so elegant from start to finish but I think my fav part is:
The weeping willow sheds a mournful tear;
her branches kiss the earth beside the stream,
lulled by the breeze the silver waters dream
and nothing is at first it would appear.
This is 
of a trophy for sure. All the best in the contest!
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Beautiful imagery and language. I think this is a stunning piece of poetry! All the best in the contest!
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