You should have seen the world before it died
From Arctic snows to harsh Saharan sand
And ocean deeps to mountains tall and grand
I saw her fairest sights and then I cried
But men made free with all that was supplied
They pillaged all the lands and then the seas
Ignoring all of Mother Nature's pleas
I saw her fairest sights and then I cried
Too late they saw the leaders mostly lied
The fragile Earth could not forgive them all
The edifice of life was left to fall
I saw her fairest sights and then I cried
You should have seen the world before it died
I saw her fairest sights and then I cried
Author notes
An echo sonnet, a form I devised mostly based on the Kyrielle Sonnet but decasyllabic. Like the Kyrielle sonnet the final line of each of the four stanzas is the same and the first line reappears as the thirteenth. But the rhyming scheme is a*bbA accA addA a*A
A contest entry
- A sonnet please, by Titus.
700 points, ended November 30, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me honestly what you think, good or bad.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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giving full blame to the demise to mankind. Well, well, and they say nature is fearless as well, seems man has made much of a reputation as this natural upheaval.Nice piece indeed.
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Ahhhh . . .how do you do it? This is so good! You have such a knack with repeating lines. . . I don't have any other response except to be in awe of your talent. . . Wonderful write, and very touching and sad. It makes me think. Because this is really what's going on in the world today. . .
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That is very kind of you to say so, I am never really happy with repeating lines.
Thank-you for such a thoughtful and generous review.
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Hmmmmm.
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Nicely done as usually.
Except for the repeating of the last line in the verses this is about the same style I like to use. Repeating the line reminds me more of the ghazal than anything else. Frankly, I find posting the technical details of a poem with it detracts from it, sort of like, "This is a pretty girl-and here are her intestines." Cheers. -
The echo sonnet works perfectly with this first line. I liked the personification of the Earth and the recognition that this was a man-made disaster. The sonnet is your forte, and this one is no exception. Peace, Liz
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the message in this mourning causes my heart to cry for I have seen this happening while most are too blind to see. the imagery alone is fantastic and the way you have presented it brings out the poignancy of what is currently happening in the world today. Mother Earth is crying in pain.
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Absolutely beautiful and image full sonnet! The Echo Sonnet seems to be the perfect choice for this challenge and you composed a wonderful one. Bravo!
Love,
Amera♥
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