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Perfume like Gasoline [light it up and watch it burn]

He serenades hills
breaking curves
   with a kiss
creasing the blade
    of green heaven

and the sky relieved
its blessing moisture
      blissfully
to entwine.

 

and if it weren't for the sun

scorching the days

and sucking colors out of our life

 

maybe then I could still dance

after rainy hours

and be uplifted by you and

 the refreshing scent

            of us.

 

 

Still August alights decay

on the matchmakers' match when he echoes

 

 

 

                 we're burning....

 

 

 

 



 

Author notes

Prompt:
' I can smell it rotting, when it was once fragrant '

 20lines.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Alyzeh
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    We're burning...

    Woah.
    Amazing babe. You are an EXCELLENT poet. I need to learn from you, I need to I need to.

    Congratulations on the trophy.

    Love
    Alyzeh


  • Abe 1
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    fab amazin poem ya ave written ere
    luved it
    gd luck 2 ya
    cheers abe


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Terrific Steph!
    This was a wonderful poem. I loved your imagery, so well penned


  • Joseph Hollis
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully written. You've made the words come alive with imagery. Well done and thanks for sharing.


  • chilali
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is so amazing. Filled with such vivid imagery! You are so talented. You've penned pure brilliance!!!

  • troubled-heart
    November 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    still good!! lol miss you bunches!!!!!

  • The Jigsaw Poet
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really loved this it was filled with such emotion and the imagery in this poem was really amazing

    Greta write


  • Ken-Maverick
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful write my friend
    You're poems are always packed with nature and emotion.

    well done Steph

    All the best to you in the contest

    Ken


  • buffsab99
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Your brillance continues to amaze me, whatever the prompt you capture it and then take it to a higher level. Well done my dear sweet daughter


  • poppa
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awesome write roomie, you write well beyond your years..
    good luck in the contest


  • Ryno
    November 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. I like the irony in the sun taking all the colours away. If, it is irony, I think it is. It is cool nonetheless.

    Your images are descriptive, but the don't rely completely on descriptive words, so, great visuals

    That last line managed to tie the piece up in a neat, literal bow.

    Bravo! Well done. Good luck in the contest.


    • luna-midnight gold member
      November 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      aw thanks so much


      • Ryno
        November 27, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        bah. write a new poem already. i keep checking and theres nothing new! lol. just kidding take your time.


  • stylization
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing. Love, you always manage to choose just the right words. If this doesn't win then I don't know what will. I love it.


  • HopelessPoet1087
    November 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow i really like it... great job... you really have an amazing way with words....


  • Rhythm Child
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like it
    original and brilliantly worded
    great write stepho


  • maralisa silver member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aw a brilliant take onthe promt steph I love your imagery and emotion it dances through each stannza good luck inthe contest maralisa


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "maybe then I could still dance
    after rainy hours
    and be uplifted by you and
    the refreshing scent
    of us."


    Wow, powerful and sort of melancholy as well.

    All the best,
    Love,
    mj.l


  • usefuldistraction
    November 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sharp and angry, with an aroma of wistful detatchment. Powerful write.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i have no idea what to say about this but i know it was something, the mixture of things i got off this poem were golden, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stephanie
    Such a deep piece you have created
    I loved your words
    beautifully penned
    Best wishes to you hun
    Julie


  • stasis
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow... this is beautiful Steph.
    Love it, love it, love it.

    Haha, that's really all I can say, you took my breath away with this. Best of luck in the contest!

    ♣ Tegan

1 - 23 of 23