i still have my dreams
of satin and lace
a white gold band
and a fairytale ending
i still hold on
to promises once made
the words of love
and church wedding bells
am i a fool
is it all an illusion
do i keep on believing
with eyes closed shut
i still wish on stars
when the sky is clear
hold on to my beliefs
of an us
Author notes
credit : http://zemotion.deviantart.com/art/Dreamer-49205692
A contest entry
- Expressing Emotion and Embracing that Which our Eyes Behold! by seclusion.
1300 points, ended December 19, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Very good take on the picture. Good poem with flow and rhythm very good. I think would be better with capitals to start each new line. Good poem whichever way I look at it.
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This is a nice poem. I feel like it matches the picture well. You do a good job of capturing the essence of the heartbroken. However, (and this may be intentional, so it would be ok) I was slightly turned off by your lack of capitalization and punctuation. It is a simplistic poem, but I think that works. However, if you did want to try and add more depth, it would probably make it even better. This is my favorite line: "i still wish on stars
when the sky is clear"
The imagery created by wishing on something that isn't there is really strong, it signifies that there truly is no hope. Good job, and good luck in the contest
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