One little, Two little,
Three little white pills;
numb the pain but,
can never make it go away.
Four little, Five little,
Six little white pills;
my mind fades to a dull
sense of nirvana.
Seven little, Eight little,
Nine little white pills:
floating on cloud nine,
can see my house from up here.
Ten little white pills in all,
Don’t wake me, this dream is
better then reality.
Author notes
I am not promoting sucide with this poem nor and i saying this is what i am going to do, i just took a pain killer for this tooth ache i have been having for a while, something in me started to think what would happen if i downed the whole bottle. I took two and theses things are kind of strong, so with that thought out came this poem.
i have thought about ending my life many time but in the end something keeps brining me back from those thought. It isn't long before that thing is taken from me. In light of some recently events deaths seems like a easy option, but then you look at what you would lose if you did. My friend and Family on here and in real life. My dream of being a writer and seeing as much of the world as i can. My little book store i plan to open one day. my future children, even thou my mother keeps saying i am going to have 13 girls( if that happens to me someone remind me to put her in a home you see on the news) but with all that, i can't think of any really soild good reason to kill myself, however, i know me and one day this fit of depression will hit again and i don't know when the last time will be. I do know that for now, I am the happiest i have ever been, i have met new poets and some have taken the time to help me with my poetry, and for that i thank them. I have new experinces waiting for me, so i don't think i will be going any where, anytime soon. This poem is just something i needed to get out. So i ask no one worry, i am not going anywhere.
Keep it flowing
Aaron (disturbed prodigy)
Poem is not set in stone, i do plan to work on it more , help out if you can
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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This poem is well, wow....... I love how it flows really well
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FEEL YOU
THIS WAS CUTE FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT IT WAS EXTASY BUT A TOOTHACHE WIIL DEFINTLY TAKE U DOWN AND IN RESPONSE TO UR AUTHOR NOTES I FELT EVERY WORD IT IS DIFFICULT SOMETIMES TO KEEP UR HEAD UP WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH MISERY AROUND YOU AND ITS LIKE "WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND" BUT SHIT SOMETIMES U GOTTA DO 10 THINGS BEFORE U EVEN GET A PAT ON THE BACK. AND SOMETIMES U DONT EVEN GET THAT .ITS HARD WHEN U CANT FIN I FUCKING PERSON IN THIS EARTH THAT CAN SEE EYE TO EYE...BUT AT LEAST WE CAN GET SMALL SATISFACTIONS...FROM THERE REACTIONS...WINK.
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lol good stuff I can sense just a little humor in your writing and that is always good stuff to read!
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I identify with your poem; have often wandered, with painkillers, and wondered about ending the search by finding the end. A badly set broken leg was the last time, and I went closer to the membrane between worlds then than ever before - close enough to leave me satisfied that one day I will be back, and break on through, but not just yet.
I like the exploration of this poem. -
what about one little two little three little mushrooms? Now that is a trip lol Anyway I like where you went with this poem Excellent write
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Yeah, we've all had these thoughts I think. You'd better not, unless you want me coming over there to the other side, to drag you back to this one.
We joke about it, but it's not funny. I've lost too many of my friends this way, except they didnt play with pansy ass painkillers, they shot their heads off. And for very stupid, assinine things.
Anyway, srry. I get a little pissy when talking about suicide. I've tried it too, too many times to count.
Okay,
Love,
jin -
hmm I loved the flow and can truly relate good job. best of luck to you in the futurea and with your writing
andi
(redhanded)
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this is deep, and scary.
but i love it, as you know i've been there.
done that.
but i really loved it.
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*uses my bro as a pillow* You better stay here for this little princess needs you around for quite some time. So get used to the idea of being teased by me for I won't ever let you go without a fight.
*stomps my foot* You hear bro!? I am stubborn and selfish, you be warned!
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I have felt like this a times. Great write
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Wow- That's fantastic.
nice Job. Truly. -
A great poem indeed. Aaron! You better not go anywhere! I cannot wait for you to come online. I've missed so much and you have so much to update me on!!
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fantastic poem!
i hope one day yuu do open a book store, i would like to visit (:
good luck with future writting! xx
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your words send a message of sadness as though you are trying to say something without using words...i can feel your heart and there is a touch of loneliness
sending you a well needed hug
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Just say your prayers and go to the dentist soon
Baby, I've learned some hard lessons in life and I
don't know of too many people who haven't wanted
to just end it all, but the way I look at it is like this:
I want to see, do, feel, and touch as much of life
as I possibly can. If it's bad sometimes, then God
help me get through it, and if it's good, then hey,
I was around to enjoy it
Nobody said it would be
easy...stay strong. Love, Lane
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Dear Aaron This is a great poem and has lots of insight ..what keeps you going and many of us are the talents we all have and of course our loved ones and you definately have have a talent....
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I liked the parody. It contradicted between innocent childhood and terrible real world well - and made the tone of the poem really strong.
I also liked the idea of how you get farther and farther in you are more and more happier, until it all ends...
...as for your author's notes, I can only wish you the best in completely overcoming this burden forever and always. But, honestly, I am sure so many people need you... it would be just like a domino affect... there is always a reason to keep pushing, as you have mentioned, but never, let it grasp you for good. Okay?
Stay strong.
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Well, I think its pretty damn good.
Well, the poem itself had me concerned for half a moment, but then your author's notes cleared up that confusion.
Depression sucks, man, and it's kinda really hard to get out of....but so long as your poetry is as amazing as it is, you'll get yourself through it!
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I was hearing White Rabbit/Feed Your Head on this...
crazy write but pass that.
You got talent, don't let the depression eat your world so bad that u might leave, you seem to be like i was at one time, wanting the ame things as i, only i'm involved in music too..your talented don't let your ink run dry man
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what comes on my mind?
drugs,
suicide,
dark escape from reality.. lols.
i like how it was written though on the first part sounds like "10 little indians"? but still you got it flowing..
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hey
im not sure what i want to comment on the peom or the notes but first is first
the poem..
strangely reminiscent of the ten little indians song...(im sorry if that offends anyone but is the only title i know)
ive done the whole lot thing and you have kind of got it down pat... except the cloud thing i dont think that happens. otherwise so well structured... but the flow is a little off centre...and you know i dont usually pick on your stuff
the notes..
i like to think im a new friend..if you have thirteen girls i'll trade you some of mine apparently there is a family history for lots of boys. opening a book shop is also one of my own dreams and one i think you should strive for you have an uncanny and remarkable sense of taste. the depression fades is you wait it out..but when it comes to it you may need to reach for help...
ok this is kinda long sorry aaron...
lol xx. pixi
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