Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

You cleanse me

An overgrown vine
twists like evening storm
against the sun baked window

Purple clouds gather
inside this black box of brains

I imagine your lips
like gentle satin's kiss,
feel the beat of your heart
drum in my ear....
as I lie here alone,
A rose without water.

Anxious, I crave your smile.
Memories of us
cleanse me across the miles.

Author notes

I used 13 words from word bank three. Overgrown, vine, storm, window, purple, gather, black, box, brains, gentle, satin, rose, cleanse

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • GentleStorm
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "A rose without water."

    "Anxious, I crave your smile."

    Love these lines. Thank you and good luck.

  • boilerjim
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    A nice sentiment

    Nice imagery with a longing and hopeful sentiment. Clver given the constraints. Thanks for the thoughts and words.


  • wattle silver member
    November 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ms Sarah, cleansed. Lovely to read from your mind. It's always a pleasent experience.