In my internal universe,
Where I write,
I am so filled
With you:
The white cat
asleep
In sunlight,
Brings joy
So sharp
I catch my breath.
I wish to
Share the image
And delight with you.
I try to write,
But then I blink,
Confused by sudden shadows,
And the pleasure slips away
Between the words.
Author notes
This is what has been in my head -- don't know if it fits -- if not, go ahead and toss it out! Thanks.
In a list
A contest entry
- In Your Head by Candyknife.
700 points, ended November 30, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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No judge worth their salt would ever just toss out this tender penning, Lita. It's a lovely remembrance, Sweetie. 
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thumbs up
And the pleasure slips away
Between the words.
the true essense of creation wonderful
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Stated so simply but oh so complex.I like the part wher you state that it just slips away,the words were there then disapeared in the moment.The title fits the words and you did a great job of expressing what you were feeling.Good luck in the contest.Glad I got the chance to read this.
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Wow...now those are very stark, bright images. I really liked where you went with this. It's like this for me too; so many ideas come crashing the gates of my mind that sometimes the very moment I go to gather my pen to write, it's gone. How many people can't identify with this? For me, this certainly gave me a glimpse "In your head" (smiling). Thank you for posting this.
AsIThink...
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As always, your remarks are much appreciated. I will be in touch soon!
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Beautiful :)
Mariana
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Thank you and thanks for the applause!
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This is wonderful!
I especially love how you ended it,
you tied the whole poem together
with a few words, and the pleasure between them.
Brilliant.
Good luck in your contest, dear.
Keep up the amazing work. -
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This is so kind of you! Thank you for reading and commenting; I do appreciate it.
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This a great write...it says a lot in little words with great descripions. I wish you the best in the contest.
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Thank you for stopping by and reading -- it always helps to have supportive feedback!
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I like this Thank you for sharing it with us.
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Your remarks are so kind! Thank you.
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Excellent
Ah, 'tis a fine write,indeed. You expressed your thoughts with clarity. Thanks for sharing this one with us. It also reminded me of one which I wrote:
'Whimsical Kittens Philosophy'. If you care to read here's a link: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4575853 -
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Thanks for your comments, and for sharing your poem -- it was great! I always enjoy your remarks and your poetry!
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wow...
like a dream in vivid color
this most certainly doesn fit
and is just what i wanted to see
ambiguity with a surreal feel
thanks for entering
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Oh, how very kind of you! Thank you so much for your comments!
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