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Ripoff: a Christmas story to warm your heart... or not...

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(to be sung (drunkenly) to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")

We all know Smasher & Trancer;
Financer & Kicks-in;
Vomit & Stupid,
& Wander & Spits-in.

But do you recall,
the most famous reindeer of alllllll....

Ripoff the red-nosed reindeer,
had a very shiny nose,
& if you ever saw it,
he would rip off all your clothes.

All of the other reindeer
used to used to call him horrid names;
they never let poor Ripoff
join in all their poker-games.

Then one foggy Christmas eve,
Santa came to say:
"Ripoff, with your nose so bright,
won't you get outta my house tonight?"

Then how the reindeer pushed him
& they stomped upon his head...
Ripoff, the red-nosed reindeer;
they put him in a hospital-bed

* * *

Author notes

"Ripoff" was made up by me, my dad, and my younger sister when I was, like, 10

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1 - 10 of 10

  • Walk-Free
    December 24, 2008

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    gosh. this is hilarious.

    'Ripoff the red-nosed reindeer,
    had a very shiny nose,
    & if you ever saw it,
    he would rip off all your clothes'

    great job!!


  • BehindTheShadow
    December 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great jingle! Rewritten perfectly, lol.


  • mystic-angel gold member
    December 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ha ha ha! This is brilliant! My daughter and myself make up lots of new christmas songs and this is in the same kind of category as those. Very funny! I love it! Thanks for your entry and good luck.

  • Yemassee gold member
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, your dad was telling you Shocking Tales Of Horror! when you were only ten!

    No one writes humor anymore, I am glad you did, I get tired reading my own, lol.

    Now I'll be singing that song all night.


  • aboomer silver member
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol - oh no! poor 'rip-off' - hospital food is lousy from what I'm told!.....lol
    cute - nice job!
    best wishes in the contest.


  • bloved
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hahahahaha

    This wasn't only twisted...and wrong on soooo many levels, this is one of the funniest pieces I have read in a long time. And you were only 10? Creative stuff here.

    Have you ever considered songwriting on the side? We are in a desperate need for a set of some new Christmas songs. hahaha

    Nice job and good luck in the contest.


  • Paloszoo gold member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is priceless and utterly twisted. Thanks for sharing it! I'm going to print it out for my seven year old!


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a clever parody and filled with funny lines. I love the names of the reindeer. A jolly way to start the season of Christmas commercials. Peace, Liz


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ROFL!!! This is so great! Poor Ripoff...that is no way to spend the holidays! Thanks for the entry.


    Az

    Happy Holidays!


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Heh heh

    If I try to think back hard enough, I could probably remember the versions of christmas songs that me and my brother made up...but then I'd be banned from AP.lol

    Great version you have here. Good luck.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**

1 - 10 of 10