My tear falls;
my liquid sorrow
lost in despair’s ocean.
Author notes
Prompt: Picture
Picture Credit: picture by Ezra Klein
10 words
A contest entry
- In 10 words by Lavender Butterfly.
550 points, ended November 26, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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beautifully sad... x
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Great take on the prompt.
Beautifully sad!!
Well done.
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Beautifully penned. Through our lives, I would say we shed a lake of tears..in happiness and sorrow. Best to you in the contest.
Sam
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I think the middle line makes it all unique
that last verse has a subtle alliteration of just blending in from impact, almost like one more cry not yet making difference afloat. oh I remember when I'd be expected to get over major triggerable regard of miscarriage and I'd quietly try to release it all to be level, but it would always be one at a time need... to not be frigid as freaking out
the semicolon does soften the piece to a time lapsed rendition
it touched me on the whole --
called Carolyn -
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Thank you for a beautiful and touching comment... I appreciate your time and your wonderful words...
Ken
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Very nice write, beautifully done.
Wonderful....Best wishes in the contest
Don
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Very sad take on the prompt. Well written. Good luck in the contest!
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Beautifully sad, good luck in the contest
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Very touching sadness, but beautifully expressed. The thing about tears is that it is better that they fall... rather drown a heart already torn. Your way with words is enchanting. A most enjoyable read. Best wishes in the comp
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Very good piece. Liked the darker quality in it. )
Carrie
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"lost in despairs ocean" great write!
good luck
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I like " liquid sorrow "
yeah that's what tears are and yet i never thought of that phrase before...
well written!
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I considered writing about tears. . . it wouldn't have been half as good as this, though!
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Oh, such a sad little piece! I love it. I like these kind of contests so I can see where everyone's mind was right then and there. Good luck to you.
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