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Dance in the Dark

here am i
watching, helpless, as you tear to pieces my tortured soul.
you are truly talented, darling; you can do in a second what took others months—
driving me to tears in a place where they would be questioned.
please, God, don't let them fall. not here. not now.

the world melts around me into shades of void
all that's left is you and her and a pair of empty eyes
striving to hide the collapse of all i hold dear.
the beauty of your smile outshines the stars, darling;
its warmth could solder even my hearts back together.
pity i'm not its target.

they've left me now, so innocently accepting of half an excuse.
i just want to be alone; this physical pain is nothing compared to the agony you awaken in me.
lukewarm citrus bubbles, catching in my oesophagus
it neither staves off the tears nor calms the storm in the pit of my stomach—
empty caffeine and a broken spirit forcing their way up my throat
swallow. breathe. don't look.
don't make me go up there.
i'm always alright.
leave me alone.

come now, age of steel;
take it all away from me.
give me a digital heart in a metal shell;
make me like you, those who feel no pain.
save me.

dragged into your presence in a four-four beat
if i close my eyes, i can't see you and you can't see me—
not that you would anyway.
i hide my eyes from everything;
you won't let me into your light, so i'd better make the most of it.

i dance in the shadows, where no-one can see.

Author notes

Took me ages to figure out how to get my feelings down on this one. Infinite thanks to my sister, plastic necklaces, for her invaluable betawork.
CONTEST NOTES: This works with a couple of the prompts, but for my purposes I will say it is prompt 5.
OTHER CONTEST NOTE (Meaningful Children's Contest): Prompt 2. Hope this was what you wanted.

A contest entry

Does it work?

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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    I'm so sorry you have been treated like this. I know how it feels to have someone slowly destroy you and you are helpless to do anything about it.


    • AllThatRemains
      January 2
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah, it kinda sucks. Great for inspiring poetry, though. -chuckles- Thank you.


  • broken-colours
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    98%

    Yes, it does work. I really liked all of this. It was despairing and gorgeous in portraying the night you had to endure. And your word use is fantastic, as well as your subtle sarcasm and different trains of thought woven together to create one precise poem.

    Took 2% off for the reference to Doctor Who; that's not being creative.


  • daviscth silver member
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on winning the silver.


  • HopeInForever
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this. is incredible.


  • WordsAndWits
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness! This is simply amazing! I hope you do well in my contest.

1 - 10 of 10