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Sunday Morning

Rotating in a daze on a Sunday morning
The cycle of life stops
Remembering what it is not

Society is sleeping,
But the catapult is winding,
And winding

First poem for a bit. Feedback (criticism) is always good.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Harlequin Dance
    November 24, 2008

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    The cycle of life stops

    Maybe it's me being dense and staying up too late, but I can't understand how this line fits in. The other lines talk about circular motion (rotating, winding) but this one line speaks of the cessation of motion out of character with the rest of the poem.

    I'll come back and read it again after a full night's sleep, maybe it'll make sense then...just wanted to drop off my thoughts.


  • Lizzie-Moffat
    November 24, 2008
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    awesome

    you have a very nice poem!