My spirit sails at half-mast,
jolted by exile into three
dimensional isolation
A realm where I resolve
to ponder in an infinite
world of voidness
The abyss of lackluster desires
crippled by petrified wings,
ensnared in spheres of darkness
As twilight gleams through
shadows of what once was
and could've been
My throne, self-pity,
to wallow in the mire of
bitter loathing
Accusing my well known accomplices
for the degenerating factors
that rendered me pathetic
On this island in "The great below."
Author notes
Poem inspired by picture in link below
http://violator3.deviantart.com/art/The-great-below-56525474
A contest entry
- Expressing Emotion and Embracing that Which our Eyes Behold! by seclusion.
1300 points, ended December 19, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like this poem! I especially like your opening line,
"My spirit sails at half-mast,
jolted by exile into three
dimensional isolation"
It's very powerful, and really gives the reader an idea of what the whole poem is going to be about. It's very dark and depressing. I just have a quick note of criticism - your stanzas don't really seem to have a great connecting flow. Separately, they work wonderfully, but when put together as they are now, they aren't producing the strong image I know they can. I think this aspect could just use a little tweaking (but then again, that's just my opinion!). Good job! And good luck in the contest!
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a self depreciating but very good... fits the contest well and excellently penned,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx
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wow what a lovely dark piece! i have read a few of your other stuff and i can't believe what a versitile writter you are!
this is another amazing piece of yours!
thank you so much for sharing your talent.
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WOW!!!!!!! You really worked this prompted and did great doing so! I really loved this one from you hon
Good luck in the contest 
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This is so magnificent!!! You did an incredible job writing this!!!! I love it!!! This is truly beautiful!!!
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Wonderful
Very creative and so well expressed. Another deep and passionate right. Best of luck in the contest.
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