Hark the sounds that breach the air
their warble twitter twits that thrill;
those sunrise heralders for a new day fair
My heart warms their presents there
from honey-suckled slumber will;
hark the sounds that breach the air
I arise with vim and vigor yare
heartened by avian charms goodwill;
those sunrise heralders for a new day fair
Hot tea steeps in earthenware
Window mural to the Rockies enthrill
Hark the sounds that breach the air
Lady golfers wave beyond my parterre
beckoning my share and show of skill;
those sunrise heralders for a new day fair
Retired, the world’s my pleasure howe’er
So until the call of the whippoorwill
hark the sounds that breach the air;
those sunrise heralders for a new day fair
A contest entry
- Winklings Weekend #144 by Ronald Wiseman.
1750 points, ended December 7, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATE 17 NOVEMBER- FOR AWARD-WINNING POEMS OF THE PAST YEAR by Vera Rich.
750 points, ended December 2, 2009, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is a lovely way to spend some time. The villanelle returns to the same lines, which reinforce your message for you. Congratulations!
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Thank you MargaretG.
This was my first attempt. These arn't easy but I think I'm hooked. Anxious to try some more
~Mary O
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This is really good the ryhming has a nice flow to it not forced at all.Like the title too.Kept my attention and wanting to read more.Too bad you did not win a trophy because it should have.
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There's still hope yet. Thank you
~Mary O
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Thank you for your entry
Excellent word choice. Your word choice makes the imagery almost papable in this. We have the Apalachians in my neck of the woods, but I imagine Mountains are stunning regardless of their names.
Great job on the villanelle. Good rhyme and flow.
I encourage you to keep wriitng to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
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Thank you Tammy for your time and wonderful comment,
~Mary O
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Wonderful use of language and imagery. I would have preferred another word in L. 10 instead of repeating "air". Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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I did change it. Have a look
~Mary O -
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I like that word choice and it enhances the villanelle.
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Thank you
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Thank you, you're right. I'll work on it.
~Mary O
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I think I hear a whippoorwill in the distance.
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I sure hope not ;( ornery. thanks for the applause
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