Sunshine is always found
whenever she comes around
everybody agrees.
But she, she doesn’t notice me...
When she enters my sight
I see no black or white
all I see is pink.
But she, she doesn’t notice me...
If she were to go away
I would explode away
but clearly, that’s just me.
And she, she doesn't notice me...
Time has gone by
we’re lying beneath the sky
and she whispers to me:
“Me, I’ve always noticed you...”
Author notes
A cute lil' poem from the bottom o' heart... *Marshmellow feathers.*
A contest entry
- Enter Your Best Pre-Write. by Simone Brooklyn.
1750 points, ended December 4, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - These Feelings I Feel by Lagrimas.
563 points, ended December 7, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me anything! by ASmileForYou.
560 points, ended December 16, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happiness Explosion =) by pumpykin.
550 points, ended December 14, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me feeling by Cant force beloved.
700 points, ended December 10, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Forbidden Love by PrincessKazza.
400 points, ended December 18, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the emotional rounds - 1 by Ryno.
400 points, ended December 26, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Against All Odds, We Touched the Stars with Our Toes by PaintedParisPassion.
550 points, ended December 24, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happy Moments by Good Mourning Moon.
700 points, ended December 26, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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that's so wonderful... i love this poem.
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This is absolutly adorable! i love it! so cute! Thanks for entering this! The ending is perfect, not at all what i was expecting. Good luck. Keep writing and keep sharing!
♥
B -
This was cutesy, but you didn't make me feel in love. I didn't feel absolutely intoxicated with anyone. It is clear that you like her, but I just couldn't grasp the emotion.
I think if you had've used a more poetic tone and stronger imagery ... the emotion could've been stronger. But that is just my opinion.
Thanks for the entry. -
Kay at first I was thinking this is kinda sad...but then I read the last line and I was like, "AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Beautifully written, thank you for entering my contest
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Aww! a very "sweetheart" poem!
Very cute! -
Hearts Desire
Some days luck and love are on our side. They "notice" us when we aren't looking and provide such simple hope. Well done and good luck.
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i dont think you are on my favorites...
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Oh, oops, didn't read the rules right. Oh well, do what you have to do....
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lol
sorry
=[[
its a great poem
but
yeha
and
maybe one day you can be on my favs
always open to meeting new people
hahah
<33
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this is good loved it
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awww so sweet! i love the ending. and the first 3 lines. good job!
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wow, this is so pretty its pretty pink, lol
anyhoo... i really enjoyed the read, and your last line was wonderful. overall, this was an awesome poem with genuine emotions and gorgeous imagery. i loved it. keep penning 
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Awwh, this is so sweet! It's exactly the kind of poem that I love!! Like the others, it made me smile, thank you so much! abi x x x
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Thanks
Thanks for the comment, glad you liked it. I'll check out some of your poems and comment on them, too.
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I love the whole thing, but the ending is amazing. Cute, touching, made me smile =D. It can be so easily pictured. You wanting her to notice you, but she maybe secretly had you on her mind all the time.
I wish more people could write cute poems like this one :]. Really nice write ♥
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Thank you
Thank you so much for your comment! It makes me happy to know you liked it I'll go read some of your poetry.
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I love the tone of this poem, like the way the verses are more upbeat sort of daydream like then by just using that simple one line it brings it back to reality and you can sense the disappointment.
Oh and the ending is brilliant! :-)
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Thanks for the comment :)
Hey, I never noticed that, the whole upbeat/back to reality thing! Nice find! Thanks for your comment, and may poetry never cease to exist, my friend.
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"Time has gone by
We’re lying beneath the sky
And she whispers to me:
“Me, I’ve always noticed you”" - I love this ending, it is so adorable.
Very good imagery here. I can picture this girl walking by you and you wanting her so badly to notice you.
Very cute, put a smile on my face.
Great write. -
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Thank you
Thank you so much for your comment, my friend; It put a smile on my face Now I shall return the favor, but commenting on your poems.
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