she was the picture
of detachment -
growing ideas from
rotten figs & scenting
feeling with rancid skin
I was awe,
caught in whirlwinds
of anesthetized malnutrition -
over-sensitive to the
feeling of falling
she had a smile like steel
warmed by childish hands -
keeping its pieces in china boxes
I knew the mechanics -
the anatomy of her words -
but still she stood
on broken glass to fly
& I was left with bleeding hands.
Author notes
Prompt::
"Hideous devastations, lifeless serenity
My abstract emotions, somehow, get the best of me"
- Life Of Agony [My Mind Is Dangerous]
(#12)
A contest entry
- The Mystery Lyric Prompt Contest Part 1 by Glasyalabolas.
1400 points, ended December 16, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honesty would be lovely
Comments
-
Excellent~
Wonderful weaving of words and metaphors with Powerful meaning~
Bravo!!
You took the prompt to a whole new level
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
-
There is so much depth to this, the metaphors lending to different meanings, prompting re-read after re-read. Excellent.
Congrats on Gold.
Good write.
-
Wonderful take on the prompt. The use of simile and metaphor is excellent. This has many abstract qualities, but delivers a strong emotional message.
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