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Submerged

An army of black scarves came pouring, gusting
The flapping arms engulfing my forehead, cheeks, and chin
I was blind in shades of ivory and bloodless skin
Dragging in, throbbing: the luminosity was an ice cave
Each sparkle was the anonymous echo of navy-gray frost

My limbs curled like a hibernating creature
Appendages locked in a mangle of silver winds

The pines, encrusted white, shivered and crumpled
The mountains sobbed, dusting the land in a pale hush
The royal and sapphire and charcoal rolled overhead

Beneath the quiet I found endless miles of sleep



















Author notes

Prompt: Snow

Usernamer: Platinum Stitches

Explanation: I need a lack of existence. Listening to December by Vale.

Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
fuck

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • penman gold member
    January 5
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very creative and well done. Congratulations on the silver.


  • Moonshinesuicide
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    fuck fuck fuck! amazing Haven't been on here in a while and when I come back you are always one of the ones who makes me want to come on here more Your piece is so impressive. Although I didn't feel so much as snow as much as i felt like a pebble in the sea when reading it I still totally loved it when i reread it.
    As ever, awesome.
    moonshine xxxx


  • ea silver member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    fantastic imagery; it reminds me of a modern rendition of the Star Coin Girl fairy story.

    Sorry, that video does nothing for me. Why not fluffy demon?


  • Desire gold member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Shindig~

    Ya see this is what I am talking about-

    You can make a burp Beautiful ~
    and this is a Beauty~
    Power in Your words especially the way You describe- set the scene- it is like no picture ever needed- the script You unveil- the audience inhales You like air- good air I must add-
    no coughing or wheezing
    The AC notes-
    four letter expression to leave a stain on the Mind
    Woot!
    Did I say I Love the word: appendages
    Excellent ink spilled
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
    Best wishes in the contest too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~


    • bird-mad girl
      November 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the wonderful comment!! I always love reading what you have to say! There is so much expression!

      Thanks for the luck! And I think you should enter my contest, I would love to see something from you!


  • written-in-ink
    November 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh jeez
    that is amazing
    =]]

  • SilentMoonlight
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love all of the descriptions you used; they were do different from the typical ones that are almost a for sure sign of every poem about winter. You made this your own made it stand out

    LOVED the last few lines of this poem; they were wild and unadulterated.

    This made me want to dance in the snow falls amongst naked trees

    Thanks for entering peach!!


  • girl shaman
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    to be totally blunt i thought the last six lines where alot more vivid than the first stanza. although the first stanza is definatly not bad at all it kind of threw off the rest of the poem in my opinion, in fact i think the last lines could have held their own, or maybe if you just trimmed the first stanza a bit it would fit better. then again im a total nut and im just putting in my two cents you dont have to listen to me! either way i did feel the isolation and there is a very chilling atmosphere to the words you chose, so good poem hunnie <3

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