An army of black scarves came pouring, gusting
The flapping arms engulfing my forehead, cheeks, and chin
I was blind in shades of ivory and bloodless skin
Dragging in, throbbing: the luminosity was an ice cave
Each sparkle was the anonymous echo of navy-gray frost
My limbs curled like a hibernating creature
Appendages locked in a mangle of silver winds
The pines, encrusted white, shivered and crumpled
The mountains sobbed, dusting the land in a pale hush
The royal and sapphire and charcoal rolled overhead
Beneath the quiet I found endless miles of sleep
Author notes
Prompt: Snow
Usernamer: Platinum Stitches
Explanation: I need a lack of existence. Listening to December by Vale.
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
fuck
A contest entry
- Hope(ful) Snowy Nights by SilentMoonlight.
1500 points, ended December 11, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Wonderful
Very creative and well done. Congratulations on the silver.

-
fuck fuck fuck! amazing
Haven't been on here in a while and when I come back you are always one of the ones who makes me want to come on here more Your piece is so impressive. Although I didn't feel so much as snow as much as i felt like a pebble in the sea when reading it I still totally loved it when i reread it.
As ever, awesome.
moonshine xxxx

-
fantastic imagery; it reminds me of a modern rendition of the Star Coin Girl fairy story.
Sorry, that video does nothing for me. Why not fluffy demon?

-
Holy Shindig~
Ya see this is what I am talking about-

You can make a burp Beautiful ~
and this is a Beauty~
Power in Your words especially the way You describe- set the scene- it is like no picture ever needed- the script You unveil- the audience inhales You like air- good air I must add-
no coughing or wheezing

The AC notes-
four letter expression to leave a stain on the Mind
Woot!
Did I say I Love the word: appendages
Excellent ink spilled
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~


-
-
Thank you for the wonderful comment!! I always love reading what you have to say! There is so much expression!
Thanks for the luck! And I think you should enter my contest, I would love to see something from you!
-
-
oh jeez
that is amazing
=]] -
I love all of the descriptions you used; they were do different from the typical ones that are almost a for sure sign of every poem about winter. You made this your own made it stand out
LOVED the last few lines of this poem; they were wild and unadulterated.
This made me want to dance in the snow falls amongst naked trees
Thanks for entering peach!!

-
to be totally blunt i thought the last six lines where alot more vivid than the first stanza. although the first stanza is definatly not bad at all it kind of threw off the rest of the poem in my opinion, in fact i think the last lines could have held their own, or maybe if you just trimmed the first stanza a bit it would fit better. then again im a total nut and im just putting in my two cents you dont have to listen to me! either way i did feel the isolation and there is a very chilling atmosphere to the words you chose, so good poem hunnie <3


1 - 8 of 8







