was i once a great arch angel
high above this dirty floor
waiting and wishing for a second chance
to come
thoughts rush back to stories
of my birth
how i shook and cried
pushing the nurse to the limit
so as she felt nothing
only saying to my mother
a brat she will be
and i was
a brat
i kicked and screamed my way into this world
i like to think
that on my way out
i will offer the same
for now
i walk in filth and dream
of the light i left
when i was pushed out of the only home
i might ever know
and cannot even remember now
in my adulthood
oh the life of a spirit
who knows nothing else
Author notes
http://violator3.deviantart.com/art/The-great-below-56525474
A contest entry
- Expressing Emotion and Embracing that Which our Eyes Behold! by seclusion.
1300 points, ended December 19, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I like this poem. It's a unique take on the picture in my opinion. It seems almost like you've taken the figure of the angel and made her just an average, ordinary person struggling with life. I like that aspect. Other than that, I think it might be a bit simplistic and vague. That isn't always a bad thing, and I'm sure you could make it work better if you just retouched it a little. Good job, and good luck in the contest!
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Amazing
I can relate to these sentiments. I can visit my family but where I to become homeless, I would remain so...Very compelling write. Left me with the burn of tears behind my eyes. Great. Mandie
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You are still a brat! Lol. Great piece!
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I like the peace it's a very interesting take on the pick you chose. I love the use of freestyle poetry for this reason. Nicely done.
Cheryl
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It would be nice to crawl up in that hot tub and snooze for eternity ... but hell, then you'd miss all the adventure
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