She's mesmerized by these brutal cliffs.
Ridged, sharp rocks beckon her near.
The wind whispers through golden hair
a soft chant for her to dare.
The black storm appears
upon his corpse which drifts.
In torrent despair of love
submerging him
as she stares from up above.
" It was the downpour that thrust him over."
My fingers tremble with rock entwined.
"It was the breeze that threw him over,"
I convince myself, my fabricating mind.
"I saw you in the morn; on yellow dawns cliff.
A smile which no longer belongs to me.
Her arms were craddling what was mine.
and for that I shall set you free."
"My love promised forever after."
The lighthouse begins to fade and dim.
Time without end.
She steps,
She smiles,
as the waves carry her to him.
Author notes
pic credit by_YamiChi
ZIOLA
PROMPT Suicide
In a list
A contest entry
- Leaving by patteringraindrops.
700 points, ended March 23, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love beyond death by Minstrel-Morose.
700 points, ended April 27, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think.
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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excellent~
I could envison everything in this poem
One of my very first reads of yours so nice to meet you
Congrats on the Bronze Trophy
I entered this one too but didn't win and that's okay
She did pick some excellent winners
I removed my poem if you want to give it a read it is called Somewhere In Time......
Again congrats and nice to meet ya
Susan~~~
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Wow to chase after love in such a passionate way is such a thing of beauty that we all lack today I am extremely happy I read this.
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i really really like this thank you for your entry
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what prompt did you use?
Great Write and
Thank You for entering my contest
Good Luck
-♥Amanda♥
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Simply beautiful imagery. I love the play on the title, and I could literally see the girl on the cliffs, the language and emotion was that strong. I also loved your use of descriptive language.
I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^
Aeris Silverlight
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wow this is excellent. well done. i especially enjoyed the final stanza. this is really emotive. well done
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wow.. this is beautifullll and quite sad too.. a very unique piece indeed,.. great imagery too!
Thanks for entering my contest,
and best of luck!
Your judge,
-Lemon Bee- -
Nice imagery. I could see and feel everything. Your words really brought this write to life. Thank you for entering the contest.
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I loved the drama in this poem. Could see it
could feel the wind howl into me as I read your words. Well done
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You done an amazing job my friend with the picture and putting it to words very dark but beautiful.
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Wow, this is a very powerful and dark poem. A tale of morbid love. The picture chosen for this poem is perfect for that. The words she speaks in the poem are exactly what would echo in my mind, looking at her eyes.
Thanks for entering my contest!
Blessings,
~Moonchild -
wow...this is so dark and just amazing. i loved reading it. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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that was pretty cool. i liked it. dark and evil, but kinda soft and warm at the same time. dark jagged cliffs then soft wind. black storms then yellow colored cliffs. but the real question is, who was really set free? smiles are strange, can warm your heart, or pierce your soul.
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ah, great take on the prompt! I love the imagery and the beauty in this piece - good luck to you
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Wow. Beautiful. Classic love story.
Loved it. -
beautiful
I was taken by the fairy tale aspects of this piece. A beautiful woman ending her life for the love that couldn't be. It's like a story one would tell another when visiting the area...folk tale of sorts. It also reminds me of that 80's animation "The Last Unicorn", something mystical about the image.
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Wow !!! This is wonderful, what a moving write.
So Good....Best wishes in the contest
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I like it, good flow and a twist when you realise it probably was her that killed him- shows the connection between death and love. The lines "Her arms were comforting what was mine/and for that I shall set you free" are the most striking as they mark the change in tone of the poem, you go from believing he has been tragically lost and that she is mourning is death to seeing that her jealousy and raged destroyed him. A conventional love poem entangled in the dark twists of jealousy and murder- brilliant.
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Gothically Brilliant
Somehow, it reminded me of "Dracula" by Bram Stoker. You definitely got the whole Gothic mood going on, and congrats for that! A great poem, love the language.
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Wow. I really really enjoyed reading this peice. It was incredibly eloquently written with phenomenal metaphors and imagery. I loved the progression of the story and the thoughts that led to an incredible ending. Thanks so much...this was a pleasure to read
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amazing.
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