Today, I knew another behind the asters of our love,
hiding my immorality, as a moment in a mist.
I want your hand for every dance, my global amaranth,
but it is denied with my betrayal.
I love you. I am
better dead than untrue, eternal struggle,
like a rose wilts, daffodils’ death,
suns no longer shine.
From God’s destinies, I fall like a fading flower,
hiding the truth, broken straw,
Judas kiss, faithlessness no one can forbear.
Cyclamen resigned to final goodbyes,
like the flowers of Pheasant’s Eye,
we have only sorrowful memories.
Today, I closed our door.
Author notes
Art: R S Adams. I drew the flowers on an envelope to send to my mother, many years ago.
I used many flowers in my poem, because love is like a flower. Each flower has a meaning in the poem, e.g. cyclamens are used for final goodbyes, Judas Kiss of betrayal, there is a 'broken straw,' Pheasant's Eyes are for sorrowful memories.
There is more about flowers and their meanings here:
http://victorianbazaar.com/meanings.html
How did I relate this to the poem of the contest? The poem is Douglas Goetsch's poem, THE BULBS. Both poems made me think about the meanings of love of the past. How hard it is to leave the things we need. As the woman in THE BULBS poem needed her flowers and her bulbs when she moved, I used flowers to write my poem of a past also gone, but in a different way. Both had to leave what they wanted.
A contest entry
- A Moment Like This by Rowan.
800 points, ended December 17, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I liked how you considered the prompt, very effective. Thanks for the link, and for entering my contest!
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The Summer the Yuccas Bloomed
I also think of love as a flower. You are very good at placing caesuras in correlation to the drama that is in the poems. Your caesura really capture the motion and emotion of your poem -
"I want your hand for every dance, my global amaranth,
but it is denied with my betrayal."
So filled with raw emotion, those lines especially. It truly captures the story and the situation with a literal and beautiful outlook.
They ending was really interesting, and it was quite the twist, very unexpected, but I really liked it and how it changed and tied together the piece.
Nice phrasing too. A good job
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I've never seen the meanings of flowers as you haver portrayed them here. Very nice Richard. I enjoyed the metaphor.
Paul
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Beautiful poem and well thought through. Like the way that you imaged the different flowers with the emotion. Excellent take on the prompt with so much wisdom embedded in the lines.
All the best with the contest!
Love,
Rachel.
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