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I'll text you from the bar.

I'm not famous by any means
but tonight be long and sleepless,
the black dread of nights on trial
and the former retrieval of care.

The season of blue eyes arose
the product of a regular princess,
some traces of acceptance are given
I could tell from the holes in her dress.

My function to further my authority
with method of soft volume and poem,
boasting of kingdom and brains
the seeds of lust are sown.

I examine her bust and her beauty
other inclusions and areas noted,
we separate from the crowd
to some garden center down town.

she takes my hand within hers
and proceeds to laugh,
this the third day of my period
I'll text you from the bar...

Author notes

(All critics welcome)

Words:: brain, volume, funtion, areas, eyes, season, kingdom, third, center, other,
poem, cares, method, traces, black, products, examined, furher, authority, period,
trial, including, takes, pincesses, famous, acceptance, succeed, separated, given,
former, arose, tonight, long, regular, sleep, texts, some, down, noted

topics:: thirst, diabetes, ethnicity, tibet, potato, Little Ice Age, Scotland,
Atlantic Ocean, vikings, Roman Empire, druids, Cúchulainn, smith, jewellery,
emerald, ultraviolet light, oxygen, Charles Darwin, Westminster Abbey, tradition,
ancient history, printing press, middle class, accent, Elizabeth II, governess,
World War I, South Africa, republic, Christianity, fifth century, horseshoes,
luck, random, freckles, infants, iconography, cupid, Artemis Fowl, fantasy literature

topics i chose are:: Thirst, Luck, Cupid and Fantasy literature

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Aerlynne
    November 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I meant to put this in my previous comment: in the last lines of second and fifth stanzas, you have two "i"s that should be capitalized.

    ~ Kit


  • Aerlynne
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so cute and light and with a hilarious ending! You did quite well with the words that came from your numbers, and I'm incredibly pleased that you used all of them! Glad you took my challenge!

    Thanks for entering and good luck!

    ~ Kit


  • catz Moderators member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An amusing poem Very good visuals in this funny piece. It looks like you did a good job with the word bank you were given. I wish you best of luck in the contest

    And I see the title has changed for you finally

    Dee