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Caught Unaware

Missing image

Creeping along at snails pace

Car poking nose through

Blinding gauze curtain

That lifts and falls

A dangerous nuisance

When recalled!

 

 

Sleeping snake

Lingering, waiting

Suddenly within your range

 Suddenly striking

Trapped, it's victim

At it's mercy!

 

 

Fog, fog,

Mysterious, annoying screen.

Bewildering, taunting, haunting

Shroud of blindness,

Dare one believe

One is safe, this time?

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Dangerous trip on the prairies is recalled with my son, as I drove we poked along through a blanket of fog. My son's impatience at how long it was taking was testy, as he was unaware of the dangers.
Metaphorically, the snake sleeping yet recoiled for the strike, was felt when fog suddenly hits you in a vehicle.. Alarm is there with the blindedness. (print of fog..www.art.com)

A contest entry

This poem still needs some editing...constructive comments please

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Heroesrox
    January 1
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome write yet again, Rosemary! Keep up the great work!


  • RareFlower
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    DEPTH

    I love how you personified the fog and made it sound vengeful.
    and the line' Bewildering, taunting and haunting' gave me shivers becuase fog is indeed haunting, can image ghosts dwelling inside!
    Love it!!
    RF

  • goalsv
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Written so well, such a vision and look to these words. The vision you portrayed is a perfect look into the fog.


  • Autumn Rain13
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the words you used, really creative with the snake Great job!!!! All the best in the contest... Another excellent, stunning, creative and beautiful write Grandma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • poetrandy
    November 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Very good!

    Great take on the prompt! Good luck in the contest!


  • Hikari Lady
    November 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really like the first stanza, so detailed with imagery as now I read it better and see it clearly.
    I liked the second as well how it described the snake's danger and all.
    I'm so sorry for my confusing comment, it's been a long day.
    Best of luck in the contest...

    Much love
    ~Noor

1 - 6 of 6