You heated the spoon
and drew brown fluid
into my syringe.
Cold fingers in my
veins. Nirvana drifts
past an ancient pond.
Warm visions in your
name, a magic wand;
your nasty needle.
These get-togethers
always seem to end
in a plunge to bliss,
or unconsciousness.
Author notes
drugs
A contest entry
- Prompt Inspired - Under 50 Words by Exodus.
700 points, ended November 26, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Free Verse by Lithium n lollipops.
750 points, ended January 1, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
These get-togethers
always seem to end
in a plunge to bliss,
I can relate to that.
THis was short and so powerful.
Really i enjoed reading it.
thankyou for entering.
love lithium
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This is a really effective poem. I liked the contrasts cold fingers/warm visions, bliss/unconsciousness. The tone was intimate, letting the reader be there as a silent observer.
'Nirvana drifts / past an ancient pond' is evocative and rich. -
I thought this was both an abstract and literal interpretation of the prompt. Certainly made it a very interesting read.
Unfortunately you didn't follow all the guidelines of the contest though.
The piece itself was lovely though
-
Excellent
A very fine write, just as it is. I found that you expressed yourself with clarity; your imagery is quite good, almost as if the poem is meant as a warning.
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