Working day after day
keeping those grades up
being number one
he comes home to get earful of some
"You'll never amount to anything!
just look at what you father's become
he was the top, the prime
now he might as well be done."
Unwilling to show the sting of her words
He just took a shot to become numb
His father a failure, a lump on the log
His only fear is to be the same, and be a reflection of what his father has become
Knowing he looks too much like him
That everything he does reminds her she had his son
wishing he could heal her hurt
but knowing that that stage is long gone
His father, unable to love
His mother, to scarred to begin the process again
he knows its useless to try
but he kept on believing in hope till their end
A contest entry
- Unrequited love by Smokebox.
550 points, ended December 8, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Nice twist ! The only change I would recommend the last line of the third stanza needs shortened. Overall great job!! Thanks for entering and good luck!!
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cool poem but needs to be shorter and more to the point..
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i am a female writing from a male perspective on this one, i've had plenty of friends to go thru this type of delima and when i saw this contest i thought it was a better spin then the normal partner love everyone else would write about
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This is sad and a diff take on unrequited love. I feel the unrequited love of the child the strongest in this write. Very sad and well penned!
Peace and Love
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Don't touch it.
I sad tale of a now bitter psychology. Inability to see past anger to avoid scars inflicted. A truly strong person can get hit and keep moving forward.
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