Before whispered secrets,
giggles filled tea cups
She cradles loyalty
tuckered~
from a girl's world
A contest entry
- between 3 and 15 words ~ amaze me... by Lavender Butterfly.
550 points, ended November 23, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Im still revising this piece. Constructive criticism is welcome
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Short poem yet with depth that could be felt in each word.
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Funny - this reminded me of my nephew and the way he giggles.
What a sweet write.
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this was fun and fine, congratulations
from first line you've collected how much such is not just a game when there's a name to that doll and all in the ambience's practice. it isn't simply jam packed imagination but conscience of character's role for "loyalty" and that word stands out commendably that you would include it lovingly. it's not mockable how makers of one lead to another are observed.
but of course, it's caught in such a succinct way as last two verses, echoing exhaustion but with a hold of development not only that day.
I think you should be satisfied too!
called Carolyn -
What a great write, well deserved gold. Keep it up
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weel deserved...beautiful
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Congratulations on the Gold, it was well deserved.
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Wonderful poem.
Best of luck
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Awww..such beautiful feelings you paint for the picture...
a very good piece here!
In the 1st line, I think you misspelled 'secrets'
and perhaps a comma after teacups whiel separate teh 2 clauses here
All the very best in the contest!
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eeek! I did spell it wrong! whoops ...thanks for the heads up. I thought i did spell check too...ohwell, guess not
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so beautifully and creatively drawn... x
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Precious
Oh how sweet and gentle. Best wishes in the contest.
Blessings
Kelle Marie
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