Laced up my dreams;--
mud clung
heavily to every step.
I wait till the rain washes
this time-worn leather,
quietly turning my toes
to a wiser and nobler path.
Author notes
Prompt : Boots
30 words or less.
A contest entry
- Prompt by AliceinPoetryLand.
700 points, ended November 24, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is brilliant in brevity, the self evident arrogance we often choose ahead of sensibility to move forward down a path without the obstacles but then again, if we chose wisely always we would not really be human
C
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A nod to the future, perhaps,
agreeing to be led "...to a wiser and nobler path,"
with a calmer certainty...
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The best laid plans of mice and men . . .
How arrogant we often are in our self-serving ignorance. Certainly, there is something to be said for zeal and looking forward, but to walk in wisdom is paramount... and much easier in the long run. Your words ring so true, and as usual, display just such wisdom.
I love that word "acquiesce." Have a couple of old poems that utilize that word, in fact, for both its smooth sound and connotation. It fits this "giving in" to what was better all along just perfectly.
I really enjoyed "quietly turning my toes." "Quietly" because such wisdom is often a soft and gradual revelation, and "turning my toes" because of the sense of being directed that it suggests.
Your words are, once again ,chosen with excellence and the mechanics are done so effectively. I especially liked how "mud clung" set off to itself and containing the heavy repeated schwa sound really mimic the idea of burdensome presumption. You force us to labor there just for a second both to form the sounds and to pause at the line break. Totally skillful.
Not surprised to see a shiny on this one. So deserving.
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...great moments! waiting for the rain to move on -let it rain!
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yep. i did..
Congrats on your silver...it should have been gold.
Love, Lane
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Beautiful metaphor. In certain seasons, "mud cl[ings] heavily to every step" of former dreams, and a reevaluation is in order. Lovely "rain washes" down to realities, and hopefully the quiet contemplations "turn...toes to a wiser and nobler path." Exceptional use of your limited words. Outsanding write.
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Amazing! Just superb! Thanks so much for your entry
gaylene
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oh, this is good...I love the ending! great write!
and good luck again
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