the wayfarers were the worthy ones
those hopeless and hapless sots
they preferred the other ways
and tied their tongues in nots
more are the languished...
rich in their duplicity...
married to simplicity...
and tedious with their yearning for continuity
with eyes that see it knot...
peeled are the rinds of fleeting times
(they remember them in their own ways)
those seedless oranges and apples
How They Ripened To Maturity...
... those wayfaring fruits...
fallen far from vine and withering...
while all of Eden's snakes were slithering -
for that next meal... for that final feel
that might satiate the thirst before digestion...
(if only they lasted like moments in memory)
how quickly that nurishment fades... into feces
like a stone down the gullet of Creation
backsliding Darwinesque delusions of grandeur...
indeed... those crass little fingerpaintings mistaken for art
were the world merely a child's sandbox...
What did you think
Comments
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This is an evocative piece of poetry but spell check is our friend! I caught several misspellings and they proved to be distracting, taking away from the overall magic of this poem.
Prefered=preferred
nots=knots
rhines=rinds (I think!)
rippened=ripened
sait=??? Maybe satiate would work here?
nurishments= that nourishment (singular!)
grandure=grandeur
Seriously, you have a very strong piece here but fix the minor little typos so that your reader doesn't have to guess at your thought process!
Having been a picky little snot, let me tell you what pieces of this really got me going...
"... those wayfaring fruits...
fallen far from vine and withering...
while all of Eden's snakes were slithering -
for that next meal... for that final feel" <-- Actually gave me chills.
" Darwinesque delusions of grandeur"
I have always felt that Darwin suffered from psychosis. So this is a nice representation of my own personal little nasty thoughts!
In any case, this was a lovely piece & I am glad I stumbled upon it this evening.
Thank you for sharing - this was indeed a pleasure!
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hm, wow. the bit that really struck me was 'those wayfaring fruits.' you've got quite a few spelling/usage errors, but that's a minor thing. i like the thought-provoking going on here.
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