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Appalachian Dawn

How cold the rock
as dusk yields,

her murky smile warms,

the pine smoky mist
fades into sun-spikes,
wraps morning like a wool blanket

around my knees warming barefoot moments

and as I stare into last nights embers

they lift me with deep earth love

into the newness of another paradise day.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • enlightenedatheist
    July 3

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    such a tranquil sound, it is very enjoyable and helps out so much with the actual flow of the piece! I love it well done


  • suplydfresh
    June 22
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful.
    I like the mood it sets.
    Somber.
    I like it.


  • pine-needles
    June 16

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    was drawn to this since i'm going to school right now in the appalachian mountains... you've got some great phrases in here ("pine smoky mist," "sun-spikes" "deep earth love" - )

    i wonder if one of the "warm/warming" (lines 3 and 7) could be exchanged for another word to avoid the repitition, unless it was intentional. Also,b the "dusk yields,/ her murky smile warms," sequence throws me off a little, choppy and find myself wondering: warms what? and what does "she" refer to? the rock? the dusk? the dawn?

    "paradise day" seemed a little over the top to me.

    a few minor notes: you might consider a comma after "knees" and "embers" and a period after "moments." just a thought. also, did you intentionally leave out the apostrophe in "night's?"

    anyways, a beautiful tribute to these beautiful mountains.

  • grm
    December 4, 2008

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    "Blue moon of Kentucky, keep on shinin'" lolol

    i am currently a resident of the Ozarks, and have been in the Alleghenies, and the Rockies. lol
    nothing beats mountain life...even for a few days

    thank you for this sweet visit to the Appalachians

    • NomDePlume silver member
      December 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      And the Appalachians

      call to us just as do the Ozarks,Alleghenies and Rockies...there is mystery in the beauty of their mist, a strength that is hard to forget, a peace that follows us like a safe harbor for our soul and once you have heard the song of the high forest and been wrapped in the warmth of their canyons and caves, they become a mother to all who have hiked their trails and been kissed by their loving silence. Thank you for your kind and blessed words Grm! Have a blessed Day!


  • Nicolette gold member
    December 4, 2008

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    This is lovely - a very nice weave of nature and romance here.. indeed nothing as beautiful as dawn. You have some very lovely phrasing and images here and my only complaint is that you were perhaps a bit too heavy on the adjectives, but other than that, I liked this poem. Something both fresh and comforting about it.

    Thank you for this entry.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    November 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    surely you must be from neck of the woods

    • NomDePlume silver member
      December 1, 2008
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      That depends...

      on which woods you neck in : )

      • Luna Tique Fringe
        December 1, 2008
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        my neck's in western carolina a hop, skip and a jump from SC, GA and TN

        • NomDePlume silver member
          December 1, 2008
          Edit | Reply

          Gotta say maam'

          I necked in the Tennessee woods for moren' nine years a fur piece back, but mosta my time's spent in the flatlands of O HI O...farmboys, football and redneckn' I does luv ma southern belles tho!

1 - 11 of 11