~
Not
long walks on sand
bars, the filigree
that adorns a caught firefly
or floriated puffery; not
a sweet olfactory vision
whistling through
most cherished
hallways after hours.
More than I beam…
immutable pillars
buttress diligence.
It is the monolithic
time cured solidarity
that certifies occupancy.
The structure
warm, electrified,
leveled true and plumb
now resonates
as “we”.
And the morning sighs.
~
Author notes
prompt title and poem:
morning songs
Sitting on Boulders at Deep Cove
we upwrap daybreak
like an unexpected gift
our bodies so close we feel each other's thoughts
our mouths exhale horizon
sun folds her wings
her warmth sleeping in the heart of wood
- Darlene Spong Henderson
In a list
A contest entry
- morning songs by Nicolette.
1400 points, ended December 6, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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mmm...not sure all the big-word imagery works, but then that is just my opinion, as i prefer what is most commonly called "real speak" and real poetry goes right over my head. lol
i approach poetry as if i'm speaking it to someone i care about, and if she will buy into it or not
however...
regardless of whatever haughty philosophical, psuedo-poetic nonsense i spout...there are parts in this piece i still like and admire
thank you for this intelligent entry
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grm
Well I don't set out to be so obscure that the meaning is totally lost on the average reader but then neither do I want it to be pedestrian (boring). So I plod on trying to strike that balance between the two - an attempt to titillate the imagination. Each reader has his own unique radio to receive my signal and it will always sound a bit different to each. Thank you for your candid and thoughtful comments.
Paul
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I liked how this poem progresses from what "it" is not to what it is. The last two stanzas were my favourite part of this very lovely poem.
the morning indeed sighs when two become one (or "we" - the oneness of two). Lovely rich use of vocabulary here, Paul and a great take on the prompt. Loved the closing line!
thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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That last line - is beautiful. Well done. ~Pamela
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Thank you Pam. I appreciate your commenting on this.
Paul
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a very strong write, Paul, interesting vocab & beautiful imagery, best of luck!
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Thank you Tara.
Paul
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I like what it's not, and what it is. The last line is what every morning should be. Very nice, Paul.
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Thank you K. This is my first entry for Nicolette. Hope she likes it.
Paul
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