I thought I saw the brightest light, this night.
I was immediately instilled with fear and fright,
because you were not beside me.
How could I ever follow this star,
to a brand new land, near or far,
if you were not here to guide me?
Why would I travel in the deepest dark,
on this evening which seems so empty and stark,
if these shadows would only hide me?
This longing only hurts my soul,
drags me further and further away from my goal,
because I only wish to feel you beside me,
to know that you are here to guide me,
and realize you would never hide me,
from the brightest light I have seen in my life:
You.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very deftly done poem with a fine cadence throughout and intelligent rhyme! Just an exceptionally fine piece of poetry! bravo! bravo!
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This is beautiful. I saw it on my favorites list, and could tell I would like it just from the preview. Glad you were able to write something new! Nice job!
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beautifully written and expressive
This is beautifully written and very expressive! I first clicked on it because I love my 3 year old neighbor named Aiden, so it is very different than I expected.
Your passion really shines through, and I would consider using different phrases instead of using "guide me" and "hide me" twice, to make your imagery even more vivid. -
woweeeee! very beautiful and simple, i loved the rhyme and meter! my favorite lines were
Why would I travel in the deepest dark,
on this evening which seems so empty and stark,
if these shadows would only hide me?
but the whole poem was beautiful... very nice imagery and flow! this is a great poem, you should consider entering it in a contest! by the way... not to be nitpicky, but shouldnt 'enstilled' start with an 'i'? "instilled"? great write!!!
luv,
lovey
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Thank you, I changed it.
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wow an amazing piece. this gives me chills when i read it. (i read it twice)
its a beautiful piece! i also like the flow! the ending hits very well!
great job!
it's amazing
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