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My phantom correspondent

Seeing that any pretence
to tell you other than truth
is unwise, ungallant, unbearable,
I say for us "love" is a word
we'll not trade in, yet somehow
"friendship" tastes of lemon.

I've heard it said:
a rich life without love
is a meal without wine.

I love and have loved
with a sacramental wine
drunk before an altar
built on faith, hope and mortar.

But I care for your thoughts
and you care for --
well, we'll see in the mix of things:
sharing of visions
emails and revisions
exploring of feelings
and these are beginnings
where exchanged verses build
and bind us with beauty till death.


Uncomplicated images only are
sensuous and passionate.


For we are always

proper and dispassionate

with no voice to spoil the thrill of it,

yet ... there is a little, but a wise demon
who whispers ... who voices, again,
mere friendship tastes of lemon!

Author notes

Prompt: Voices (or lack thereof). Chosen genre: Free Verse.

A contest entry

Please critique.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry in the contest. An interesting read and one I enjoyed very much.

    All the best...Sue


  • MargaretG
    November 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like the last line recapitulation of the first stanza, and agree that sharing writing forms a friendship that is similar to any other kind. We may be "proper and dispassionate" but we are human.
    As free verse, it moves well and says a great deal about what we do here, I could not improve a word.