Stars
Twinkling
From above,
Bright shiny moon
Highlights my true love,
Brings me peace and mystery
Direct from the creator's hand .
Our open hearts can now receive
Gentle blessings we may not believe
Needed by all those in our troubled land .
Humanity has spoiled this wondrous place
greed and vices grow at greater rate
Than love and kindness can abate
For those who care, hope's not lost,
It is a test of faith
For all who believe
Forgiveness comes
From heaven
Above
Stars
Author notes
An Etheree poem, my first attempt
A contest entry
- Some Originality by ScrewAllOfYou.
400 points, ended November 30, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry Styles Contest by Visit.Me.On.Mars.
700 points, ended January 11, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comments
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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This one is great! I like it alot
---Janette -
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This is my first try at writing an Etheree poem and I appreciate your commenting.
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Above the stars that hidden world ....I love the way it goes...
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The stars are always fascinating, particularly where we live, because the air is so clear and there seems to be more stars than I remember from my childhood.
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Far out! Sorry, I will try & be constructive. I have always admired concrete form poetry. Predominantly because I can't do it! Excellent work.
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I am trying out various 'form' poetry as an exercise in teaching myself discipline.
You wouldn't want to see the stuff that didn't get posted. Many thanks kind sir, for your comments.
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You know, Bob. When i started reading this, i had to go and and come back to your page because i thought i was on someone else page.Then i realized it was you and read on. This seems so different than all the other writes of yours i have read in the past. Is it the way you set it out. or what? None the less, i thought it was just beautiful. The rhyme was so so different but truly exceptional. I love the peace that you created with your words. I think my favourite part would have to be 'bright shiny moon highlights my true love' That says so much about the love of your life. You really do have a very special gift, and with this piece, i would not change a thing.
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It is just a little different. It's an etheree poem, or a double etheree, if you like. The spiritual content fitted this form quite well. I love you comments as you always give me something to think about. Muchos Gracios, Amigo.
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Oh my...this is really good! I love the shape as well as your words. The message is wonderful and it ends back at the beginning, up in the stars, taking us full circle. A different write from you, and very well done...alby
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Many thanks for a wonderful comment. Whatever God you believe in, life is still a continuing circle.
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Lovely rendition of the form mate, reeks of the truth, though faith is a hard thing to maintain at times...
Rob. -
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You are bang on Rob, faith is hard to maintain and you will digress from it many times just as i did. You will be forgiven when you get it back and it will be stronger for the lapse.
The focus of our faith may also change, but that is not important. Thank you my friend for your support and comments. Take care.
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Oh this is very good, and interesting as my first attempt at an etheree (Perspectives) was a double too, with a similar philosophical theme, so I appreciate this even more!
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I set myself a challenge to write different forms. Would you believe I had this one all complete and ready to post twice before I finally did post it. had a hiccup with the internet and lost the lot. I am pleased that you found this interesting. I think that this form is better with certain topics. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. You are no doubt busier than I. I'm retired and have freedom of choice now whether I do something, or nothing.
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Great work Bob. Well written indeed!
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John, this is a double first; my first poem with a theme of faith and my first attempt at an Etheree. I think thats how they spell it. Thanks for your comments my friend. It's aboost to my self esteem.
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very lovely
through faith forgiveness flows as does your lovely words
well done
God bless you my friend...
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I appreciate your coments greatly. This is my first attempt at this type of poetry.
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