.
and to those who stood
on the sideline
she lived the dream that
they required
so they could justify
hearts full of empty hope
that anything was possible
her life was a fairytale
for eight hours a day
five days a week
and she spent her time
indulging in escapism
because suddenly
those strings of guilt
and pearls weren't enough
to hide his angry left-behind
fingermarks
so she wore a scarf
in summer
and they twittered behind
their overjewelled hands
at the daring of her
statement, then one-by-one
imitation began
though she never cared enough
to be flattered
.
Author notes
Name: Rosemarie
A contest entry
- Snapshot of Life by fortyninereasons.
1900 points, ended December 3, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is a draft - be as harsh as you like.
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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BANDITS AUCTION #9
I love it.
Her statement is not one of fashion, but one to hide behind. That was effective.
I saw something in this that makes me feel rich people might not just have it all.
Shari
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Bandits Auctuion #9
Ah ha! I have read this before. I recognized it. I liked it the second time as much as the first time. Good luck in the auction. -
Bandit Auction #9
Every time I get to indulge myself in your writing, I am unceasingly amazed by the prowess of your wordsmithery!
Like any great artist, a small swish of your brush (or pen in this case) creates a living, breathing image to be admired, savoured and revisited.
I love the futility and shallowness you show us of a life in the spotlight, and what the reality is behind the glare and dazzle ~ and how the two can be so misinterpreted.
Lovely-jubbly writing!
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Bandit Auction # 9
You have crafted a rich character study here. I may be wrong but it appears that the subject of this poem is a victim of on the job sexual harrassment and abuse. She has remained quiet out of fear, to live behind the wall of 'let's pretent' this isn't happening rather than confront the tormenter and bring this crime to the light of day. There appears to be a crack in that wall of denial that is ever widening. Well written poem, deep and well constructed.
Best of luck in the Bandit Auction.
Dennis
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Bandit Auction #9
Wow, this is amazing. I love the very end stanzas, and the description throughout this is fabulous. Your word choice and phrasing makes this poem come to life, I'm really in awe, this is breathtaking.
Well penned,
~lost
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Hood Wink!
Fab-U-lous!
I love how you gave Rosemarie a life that unfolds well down the page
Best of Luck hun
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
(Apologies for late Hood-Wink!)
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100th hoodwink
This leaves me to ponder. If this behavior continues, she have to hide more of the marks. A scarf isn't going to hold for long. This is your hoodwink day!
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I love the brevity but somehow it left me wanting you to give me more of her, bring her more to life. C
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When is the contest going to be judged? Do I have time to make edits?
thank you for the applause!
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Plenty of time to edit
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You didn't tell me you were done?!
Is this why you asked me the scarf question? LoL...well, I think just saying 'scarf' leaves ambiguity for the reader to fill in the end, so that's fine.
Anyways, wearing a scarf in the summer is pretty weird, but if it's one of those bandana-esque scarves, that's normal...
I love your title, although I wonder if this is a bit of a parody of fashion. :/
Or whether materialism doesn't exactly equate to happiness...it probably doesn't, but temporary happiness makes me happy enough.
...
I probably have the wrong interpretation,
but it made me think.
I kind of hate and love that
Ohhh you bring out the paradoxical freak in me
;
Jessica
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I was about to - but there was a Greeter question that I had to answer
... this is about domestic violence ... she wore a scarf in summer to hide the bruises and because she was super elegant it started a new trend ... I didn't explain it very well 
I can't seem to expand any of it ...
thank you for your comment!
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Oh wow; now that you tell me, it's so obvious.
I always try to see myself in writes
and end up taking a self-centered interpretation
that wasn't the poet's intent.
Oh well. That's the fun of poetry
I think it's fine as is
Brevity done well = brevity done well = YAY
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Wow! I love the brevity of this, how it showq a story mostly by showing the effects of it. The title is very elegant AND "pearl(s)" is one of my favorite words in poetry The last stanza isx quite powerful... At first I couldn't quite put my finger on what it might have meant, but now I feelk I relate to it. Nicely done
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The title worked well with the poem, which is good. It seemed short and held little detail but then again the contest was a snapshot of like. I did like what I read and it made me think about about I make up stories for complete strangers based on small pieces of information (not that this is what you did). Cheers
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Sounds awesome!
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Your name is now Rosemarie
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