Chaotic shadows
spattered the
wall.
The shallow beat
of wings,
faint stirrings
in the darkness,
whispered that
she was gone.
In his grief,
he held her once more,
resurrected from his
memories…
…a last dance.
Author notes
Name: KayJay (aka Ken 
)
Prompt: "Don't repeat chapters. The ending of the story will never change."
Picture Credit: http://deadengel.deviantart.com/art/The-last-dance-50798906
No limit
A contest entry
- PIF Weekend Quickie by ChunkyC.
800 points, ended November 24, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
ooooo... Wonderful. I love how you ended. On that note.... Powerful.
i really love the adjectives and verbs you chose. They really made the poem good, and powerful.
Great word choice.
-
Evocative
Hi there, my friend. It has been some time since I was on ap and have missed the inspiration.
This poem is evocative, indeed. without giving it all away, you have made the reader know....and give compassion.
On another note, I am wondering if you need an ; after wings? I think so.
Write on!
-
-
Thank you Carol... for the read, the comment, and the suggestion... I always appreciate those who take the time to offer a helpful hand... and you are most appreciated
Ken
-
-
Wow! Truly beautiful. So short, but very sweet and to the point. I love how you portrayed the poem through the picture. Great picture by the way. The imagery was absolutely amazing in this poem. Great job, and good luck in the contest!
-
wow, you did an outstanding job with the prompt. the imagery is very dark. the over all feel to the poem is sad.
good luck
-
This is really good! It describes the picture perfectly. Great job!
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
